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Behaviour/development

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5 year old girl angry, impulsive and unkind

2 replies

Ticktockwoof · 16/08/2022 06:52

I’m not sure how to help our daughter.

She is very quick to anger over the smallest things and screams and lashes out. For example, her sister has something she wants but instead of asking for it, she launches into full attack mode.

Even when not angry, she hurts to get attention, for example pinching us, or simply walking over unprompted and smacking us.

She also hurts seemingly for fun. She stamps on the dog’s tail or kicks him when she thinks we can’t see, then laughs and denies it.

Last week, on her sister’s birthday, I overheard her in the next room singing ‘it’s a hurty birthday’ before smacking her hard.

She behaves the same way at school to children and adults, and now doesn’t have many friends. She’s very articulate and intelligent, and keen to make friends - she’ll always be the centre of games at the playground, but at school they have become scared of her behaviour.

When she’s not behaving this way, she’s a delight. It’s not behaviour that she sees at home. Every so often she breaks down into tears and asks why I think she’s ‘like this’ and says ‘I don’t know why I hurt people, I can’t help it’. I just don’t know where it comes from or how to help her.

Any advice gratefully received!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Miriam101 · 16/08/2022 14:53

Didn't want to read and run. This sounds hard. You mention the behaviour has been clocked at school- is that by teachers as well as other pupils? I would say first port of call would be to check with the staff to see if they are aware and if they have any other concerns. How old is her sibling- is she a recent arrival? Has there been any other upheaval in her life?

Ticktockwoof · 16/08/2022 18:34

Thanks for replying. Yes, by teachers too. All this behaviour started at school but has sort of “leaked” into home life too. I do wonder whether the transition to the summer holidays were hard for her.
Her sister is older and puts up with it - she’s very chilled out but does of course find it upsetting sometimes.

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