How to cope when dcs miss their Daddy, who is away on short term secondment overseas

[tiredandgrumpy]

My dh is working in the US for the next few months, returning for every other weekend. We have just seen him off for another 2 week stint and ds (4) had a meltdown when we returned home. Much of it was tiredness & he did brighten up when he'd had tea, but just wondered, how have other people coped with similar situations?

I'm trying to keep home life as normal as possible and to talk about Daddy being away, plus am also giving as much one-to one attention as I can, with a 1 yo dd to manage as well.

IT is hard isn't it? My DH works away from home and the contract he is on at the moment he is away more than he is here.

I am afraid I have no top tips, I have a 4 year old and 1 year old as well, I have just tried to deal with it as it comes.

I have talked to dd (4) about how much she misses him, she has dealt with her dad being away by not talking to him at all. When he calls she sasy no. When I talked to her about it she said that talking to him made her sad because she missed him, now she will talk sometimes but only if she gets to be the one that answers the phone to him.

One thing I did find helped though was I bought those cheap scrap books from the local paper shop. I got one for both the children and a couple of disposable cameras. We had a few special occassions and nursery things so I let dd take lots of pictures for the scrap books and she loves making it up for daddy to see everything she has been up to while he is away and gives her something to focus on as well rather than focusing on him being away it has shifted the focus to the fact that he is coming home to see the scrap book.

Also dd has her own monthly planner any calander will do but I got a magnetic one from the early learning and on it I have any occassion or appointment that relates to her, dr, dentist whateve and have daddy's trips home marked for her it has pictures magnets so she can identify herself what is happening. And she is able to cross off and visually see whenhe is home which again is concentrating on the fact that he will be home soon rather than he is away.

Gee whizz sorry that got long for someone with not a lot to say I didn't do half bad lol

We do not have this situation, but my parents live in another country.

I found a webcam really good for the DCs to see their Grandparents and viceversa. They love to wave and show things to Granny. Don't know if that is possible for you.

Lots of photos, talking about Granny and Grandad helps. and crossing off the days till we see them again is good. We don't actually cross off a calender, DD counts "how many sleeps" till Granny comes.

Both of you recommend a calendar/counting down days, which is something I found really useful in the seemingly endless countdown to his birthday, so is an excellent idea for coping with dh's absences, too. I like the idea of a magnetic one, too - will look out for that.

I also love the scrapbook idea, particularly with photos. We'll also give this a try. It also helps with the 'quality mummy time' which I'm looking for ideas for, plus it could involve both children, so thank you for an excellent idea!

Wish we could do a webcam, but apparently the internet speed he gets is terrible and I'm not sure work would let him put one on his laptop.

Thank you!