3.2 year old preschooler's odd behaviour

[Lily7050]

My DS is 3 years and 2 months old. Some of his behaviour worries me a bit as none of other children in his nursery class do this.
At some of birthday parties my DS has serious meltdowns, crying for over an hour. If I am there he would just stay with me and not play with other children.
This does not happen at every party that's why it is difficult to understand what is wrong. At the parties when he had meltdown all children were from his nursery.
Another worrying behaviour is my DS does not listen when we are in dangerous areas like close to the roads/cars/bas stops/car parks, refuses to hold hand and even tries to run around. Some children from his preschoolers group travel to nursery by bus without pushchairs. We are so worried that have to put DS in pushchair or carry him when we are at bus stops/car parks.

His nursery teacher have recently started complaining that he answers them rudely.
I wonder if all the above mean DS is developing some condition? I am thinking ADHD possibly?
Should I talk to GP? Will a specialist be able to tell if something is wrong or it is just part of normal development?
If someone have had similar issues I would appreciate your experience.
None of the children around me have showed similar behaviours so I have no one to ask.

Lots of 3 year olds are still unpredictable and not good near roads etc. It isn't unusual to be honest.

Also, rudeness is not a part of ADHD. I'm not sure what you mean by this part.

Thanks @France98 .

As mention I have not seen any children around the age of 3 behaving like my DS. That's why I got worried. There were a few 2 year old at the last birthday party my DS attended. Even 2 year olds did not through tanturms.
At previous party when my DS had a tantrum, I have heard a mother of another child inviting other parents to their DC's party but she did not invite my DS.
I think if the tantrums happen to often people will just stop inviting my DS to birthday parties.

As to rudeness, I meant "oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) – this is defined by negative and disruptive behaviour, particularly towards authority figures, such as parents and teachers" which is a related condition according NHS.

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder-adhd/symptoms/

I honestly wouldn't worry as yet, he is still young and lots of 3 year olds have tantrums. My 3.5 year old is having them a lot at the minute.

I also have an older child with ADHD.

Thank you @France98 .

In the nicest possible way OP he's 3. Unless there's profoundly challenging behaviour or delays no professional is going to label him. This could be something emerging or could be a 3 year old being 3. My own is incredibly cautious around roads etc and has been from a very young age but I know a friend's 3YO who would happily nosedive into a river/run in front of a lorry if you allow it. Both are perfectly smart and developing normally as far as we can tell. ITO the meltdowns how articulate is your LO? Have you tried talking to them after they've calmed down about their big feelings and better ways to communicate these feelings? Otherwise I think all you can really do is let things play out and escalate if it's becoming pervasive. Based on what you're saying it doesn't sound hugely away from the norm though tbh x

Thanks @88milesanhour . It is a relief to hear that my DS's behaviour might be perfectly normal.

Slightly odd for nursery staff to be complaining about "rudeness"- 3yos aren't known for their politeness! I would try to pin them down a bit more on what they mean and whether they have concerns. Prolonged meltdowns and having no sense of danger can be red flags for ASD but having said that they can also be fairly standard 3yo behaviour. Noone here will be able to tell you but the nursery staff should be able to give you a steer on their impressions.