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I feel my 18mth old hates me

2 replies

Allinadayswork80 · 13/08/2022 19:38

So we’ve just been away camping for a week with friends (me, DH, DD1 and DD2 - the 18mth old). Obviously it’s been hot and she’s been out of her normal routine/environment but she’s been really difficult this week and mostly with me. She’s a really strong willed little tot and throws a tantrum pretty often but it has seemed mostly with me. She’s so much better with her dad and even with my friend who she’s not spent an awful lot of time with before now. Every time I tried to interact with her she said “no”, hit me away or threw a tantrum. Yet she was so much better with them. It’s really upset me, I’m finding it so hard and hurtful, even almost resenting my friend which is ridiculous as if anything she was great and gave us both some respite here & there whilst away so it was good. We’re thinking it’s maybe because I’m always the one doing the boring or ‘mean’ stuff and stopping her doing things and her dad is usually at work most of the week whereas he’s been off and having some quality time with her which she’s loved. I dunno. I’m just left feeling really upset and it’s knocked my confidence as a mother. My DD1 is 10yrs old and she was much easier, we had/have a great bond, the second has been much more difficult, plus I’m older this time, but she really pushes the boundaries! I can’t help but get annoyed with her when she throws an epic strop which I’m aware probably doesn’t help.

Has anyone else experienced this? Can I do anything to improve or is it a phase as my DH keeps saying and I need to ride it out?

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Lilactimes · 13/08/2022 23:34

She doesn’t hate you I promise. She’s taking things out on you because she can. She knows you, loves you and trusts you.
see if you can get a little break - a walk for a few hours, a coffee on your own. Then come and play with her for a long time, on the floor at her level, her toys and follow her lead on play. Really concentrate on her and maybe try and play her games with her every day or every week, in my experience it always leads to a calmer child.
try not to worry - no 18 month old ever hated their mum x

Allinadayswork80 · 14/08/2022 16:34

Thank you for your reply. I will try and do as you suggest, I probably don’t sit and just focus on playing with her enough really. She does seem much better with me since returning home so maybe she was just unhappy and taking it out on me. Who knows! x

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