Potty training 3.5 year old (fully pee trained)

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Hi Mums,

I am hoping to get some advice on a very strange problem we are facing. My DD will be 3.5 years old in couple of weeks. She is fully trained to pee in the toilet with even being dry at nights. She goes by herself at home and nursery and we have even managed 2+ hours drive etc but she absolutely refuses to go poop in the toilet! Have tried for months and months and for past few months she used to ask for pull up just for those few mins of pooping and we were giving. Now we have told her they don't have your size anymore so she has taken to pooping in her underwear! We thought after a couple of times she will realise it's uncomfortable and at least try but she absolutely refuses to even sit on the toilet when she actually has to go! Other times she says she will try and has been to sit couple of times asks to watch videos etc. But when actually needs to go she just runs off and crouches wherever she is and starts doing in the pants like she used to in pull ups! I am at my wits end! I have another DC due in 2 weeks!!

Has anyone been in similar situation? Any help advice would be immensely helpful! She is going to change to a nursery in a big school in January and I am really worried about her not being trained before that.

First of all, please don’t worry. I know this isn’t something that is often talked about but it is honestly not that unusual or strange.

My eldest was exactly the same around that age - totally dry during the day and overnight too - but just wouldn’t poo on the toilet.

DC is now 16 and, looking back, all the stress and agonising I went through over this really wasn’t worth it. I absolutely promise you, your little one will get there when she is ready.

I know it is easier said than done, but my advice would be to relax and take the pressure off. Let her ask for a pull-up when she needs a poo (much easier to clean than knickers) and encourage her to stand in the bathroom/next to the toilet.

Then, gradually, see if she will sit on the loo in a pull-up. Small steps getting closer and closer to actually pooing on the loo.

Encourage her to be as independent as she can be too e.g. having a go at wiping once the job is pretty much done.

Enjoy your new baby and make life as easy as you can for the whole family. Jan is still a while away and I’m sure nursery will have seen it before if she still needs a pull-up. It feels a huge issue but it really isn’t.

I just wanted to add..my DC 2 didn’t bat an eyelid about pooing on the toilet but they weren’t dry at night until 8.

Different children, different ‘issues’ but both got there in the end. Your DC will too.

We've got the same issue at the moment! I cant offer much advice but you arent alone 💐

My friend has an August born 21 year old son who is amazing! But when he started school he had this issue in reception. They had to put a nappy on him when he got home from school so he could poo!
he grew out of it pretty quickly once at school and is now a fantastic young man. Try not too worry and follow the great advice on hear.