After advice we're really struggling with my dd's behaviour lately and I could really do with some helpful advice. so to summarise our background my two children ds 5 and dd 7 were sexually abused by their biological father in 2020 and have received counselling for this. obviously this is going to be a life long struggle to come to terms with and heal from so I'm under no illusion that the sexualized behaviours and anger/violence caused by this are going to disappear anytime soon however I entered a new relationship in 2021 with my now partner, he brought to us 3 children of his own from his previous relationship and so begun our blended family journey ❤️ he has been amazing with my two! he has been their best friend, cheerleader in the background, counsellor, nurse when ill or hurt, saviour when having an emotional or mental breakdown and their relationship blossomed! everything was going so well until we recently moved to a new house now yes we have had our few blended family issues from all of the children at one point or another but we tactfully and respectfully dealt with them as they came up, we worked together and resolved them with minimal impact to everyone else in the house. however lately my dd7 has now been going through somewhat of a personality change, she has been destroying the house, defacing the walls, ripping wallpaper and writing "I hate mummy" all over them (however she did deface and draw on walls in previous house however this has now escalated more here), she very openly makes a point of saying that she doesn't want to be a part of our family anymore and has took to being very loud, angry, screaming in my face, invading her step-siblings privacy (going in their room, thieving their stuff, and watching them get dressed/undressed etc)😢 and has now took to telling school that she is scared to go home as my partner shouts at her and I smack her (which I absolutely have not!) however we both did shout at her due to her taking her seat belt off in the back of the car whilst we were doing 60 on the motorway coming back from the beach and then when told to put it back on point blank ignoring us. we now have ss in our lives and my partner was initially told to take a step back and not to give dd consequences however then it was transferred to fw and they said as we are a blended family it's impossible for my partner not to have any input and said that moving forward he could have an input when the rules applied to house and car (jeez it's confusing for us) so now the damage is done and dd and ds don't listen to a single thing my partner says at all and they openly defy him in front of me. now we have reached a point where all this from my dd is really straining our relationship to the point we are considering separation now this is something neither one of us want, we want to find a solution and make our family work however it's becoming more and more obvious that it's just not going to work! obviously there is more stuff that has happened with dd and ds behaviour wise but when you try to remember when writing it down all this stress kinda leaves you with a touch of amnesia lol any help or advice would be appreciated tia.