I have bed-shared with my DS since he was about 5mo and started to refuse to go down in his next-to-me cot. He's 16mo now, still breastfeeding (mostly at night now I am back at work full time, though he likes to breastfeed during the day in weekends) and has also refused to nap/sleep in a bed without the boob since 4mo too. I haven't been able to 'lie him down drowsy, but awake' and have him fall asleep since around 4 mo. He will nap during the day in the car, pram or carrier without the boob first, but I can't get him to sleep in the house by walking him around, he just cries and gets increasingly upset the longer I try.
I've been putting him to sleep in his own room for naps and at the start of the night since he was around 6 months and he outgrew the next-to-me cot. I briefly used a big cot but it got to the point where I could not transfer him from my arms into his cot without waking him, so I baby proofed the room, got rid of the cot and we use a floor bed now. I lie next to him on the floor and feed him to sleep, then slip away quietly! His room has toys and books in it and he is very happy playing and reading in there, which we do each night for 15 minutes or so before bedtime. I turn the white noise on, close the curtains and he totters off to the floor bed, knowing it's time for sleep, - then immediately expects boob.
I put him to bed in his own room for the first part of the night (around 7pm until 10pm), then I move him into my bed and we sleep there together until morning. I often have to resettle him in his room at 8pm and/or 9pm -occasionally he'll sleep right through from 7-10pm, if I'm lucky!
Once we're in my bed together he can wake 2/3 times on a good night, and usually needs the boob to go back to sleep, though occasionally a little pat or helping him move into a more comfy position will see him drift back off without the boob. On a bad night he wakes every 30 minutes - those nights are rough!
He's a dream baby in all other aspects, but his nighttime sleep is a problem! I'm struggling to be productive at work on so little sleep, and feel like I've got to the point where something needs to change. I have loved bed sharing with him, and like having him close by but I could really do with some good sleep now! We have a small bedroom so no room for a separate bed for DS in the room.
My partner has only ever managed to put DS to bed once. I have thought about just letting DP take over bedtime, then boob isn't an option, but on the occasions we've tried without success I have stepped in after about 15 mins of hysterical crying from DS, as none of us could bear it!
I don't want to ruin the bond I've built with DS, or for him to get distressed! Would welcome any tips on getting him to sleep in his own bed all night, without leaving him to cry. I'm happy to put the work in and I'm not expecting an overnight fix!