New mum help please! (7 week old)

[emsgoddard]

my daughter was born at 37 weeks. She was weaning off my anti depressants when she was born so she is formula fed and we were kept in hospital for 4 days whilst she was weaning off and getting phototherapy for jaundice.

She got over these really well and we were allowed home after 4 days.
As she was so poorly when she was born, I felt I had to hold her whenever she was in distress (I knew no different). However, she now hates being away from me - this is probably normal as she is only 7 weeks old but she's a nightmare some days.

My partner is extremely hands on with her and a brilliant dad. However, he is now back to work and I'm finding it really hard to cope with her on my own as she's so hard to feed and settle.

So she drinks 5oz of formula - the bottles last 2 hours. So I'll feed her at 7 for example, and she will nap in between and rarely finish a bottle as by the time she's woken up, the bottle has gone past the 2 hours. I end up making her another bottle as I'm scared I'm not feeding her enough, then she will waste about 4oz. I read on average she should have about 6 feeds a day which is every 4 hours including night feeds right? Well I'm lucky if we get 2.5 hours from the beginning of her last feed.

Also she hates lying down so when she's finally calm when someone's holding her, you go to put her in her moses basket and she's wide awake crying again. I've been told to leave her to cry but it makes me feel awful as I was ignored all the time as a child when I was crying. So I always pick her up straight away (probably the wrong thing to do)

I'm a new mum and I have no idea what to do. Does anyone have any advice?

Thank you so much. (Tired mum)

Congratulations on your baby girl!

Definitely do pick up your baby when she cries, she's a tiny newborn and has only ever known the comfort of being safe with her mum. You can't spoil a newborn!

I couldn't quite follow what you meant about the bottles but just feed on demand as and when she wants it.

It will all get easier, honest

Absolutely pick up your baby when she cries – that's exactly the right thing to do. If she cries, she needs something, even if that something is 'only' cuddles. As the previous poster said, you can't spoil a newborn!

If she's a 'velcro baby' that wants to be held all the time, a sling can really help. A lot of people really like the soft, stretchy wraps for the early days, although my babies both preferred our more structured carrier. If you have a sling library near you, they'll help you try a variety on and find what works for you. Does she hate lying down even if someone is holding her, or just being put down alone?

I'm also not the best person to ask about bottles, but yes, feed her when she's hungry, whether that's 4 hours ago or 1 hour ago. You don't want her to completely finish the bottle, but obviously also don't want more waste than necessary, so if 5 oz is too much for her in one go right now, make up 3 or 4 oz. You can always make up a slightly bigger bottle if, say, she's had a really good nap and you think she'll be hungrier than usual. I'm not sure, but I also thought you were supposed to throw away any formula left after a feed – I thought the two hours was how long a bottle that hadn't been drunk from could be kept, so perhaps double-check the guidelines on that.

Many congratulations! It’s a difficult but can be the most lovely time.
absolutely pick her up and cuddle her. Read as much as you can on different ways to approach motherhood so you can find a style that feels right for you - from more routine based structure to total baby led approach.
i was a single mum from a complete new born and my daughter has just turned 18.
I found a sling very helpful for when i needed to do a few things around the house.
I used to just lie and feed her and cuddle and try not to worry. Play nice music or a show you like in the background and just relax. Some days at this age - they will feed non stop as they’re growing so fast. The worst thing you can do is feel tense about it.
i went with the flow of what she wanted - but tried to always go out for a walk every day and see someone or do something with her, i also had quite strict bath/ bedtime routine in terms of order we did things and time she went. Good luck and enjoy x

Congratulations on your new DD

How are you both getting on now @emsgoddard?

I'm not sure who's telling you to leave a baby so yo g to cry, I'd be asking them to read up on the fourth trimester.

Hey!

I had the Health Visitor out on Friday and she thinks it's all down to a milk allergy (the feeding anyway), as she has all of the symptoms. So that's making feeding a nightmare but we have doctors tomorrow!

Also she's a lot better being away from me now, which is a relief as it means I can get a bit of me time to atleast go to the loo 😂

Hopefully tomorrow you'll get a prescription for a different formula then.

I'd have a read of this from Allergy UK before you speak to the GP as it gives you tips for getting the best from your appointment.