Bad mum alert

[mummystruggles24]

I'm new to all this so please don't judge I'm here cos I need help and advise not to feel any worse than I already do.
Md is 7 nearly 8 and and I can't do anything right for her all she dose is cry she don't listen to a single word I say and I feel like I'm slowly giving up! tonight I nearly smacked her (I know what a shit mum)I didn't but i nearly did and it scares me I'm seriously thinking of phoning ss on myself but I don't want her to be taken as she's mine and I love her with every breath in me but I need help and what if next time I do smack her!im currently sat at the end of her bed while she's asleep cos it's the only time I can spend time with her without crying and screaming at me.please has anyone got any advise

Something is white seriously wrong with your daughter op if all she does is scream and cry.

i suggest you book a Gp appointment first thing Monday morning

How is she at school?

What do you mean seriously wrong?she's the same in school

Your child constantly screams and cries

i would be seriously concerned if this was my DD

and she constantly screams and cries at school??

Yeh it's when she can't get her own way or don't like something that is said pr done

And this is how she responds when she doesn’t get her way at school too?

Sure is!the teacher can calm her a lot quicker than me if I ignore her she can go for hours literally!I try talking to her calmly and she just screams at me I have ask the school support worker if she thinks she might have any underlining issues like adhd or something and she told me no she's just playing up

That was a very unhelpful comment from the school support worker! She doesn't sound very good at your job.Is there anyone else there who would understand better that you could talk to?

Your daughter sounds like she is really struggling emotionally and behaviourally, possibly due to circumstances or poor mental health, or possibly due to a condition like you say.

Whatever the cause, she needs help!
When she is upset, draw her close don't push her away and ignore her cries for help and love.If you can't do that straight away (cause I know its bloody hard when we feel angry!) Take some time out and return to her when you feel you can speak to her with compassion and not anger.

Are you on your own with her? I can't imagine how hard that must be if so.
Please go and speak to your doctor, and also perhaps speak to the school nurse?
You really need to get her some help, and perhaps if you feel low you might need some help yourself too? Your DD will feed off your own emotions and mirror these.

You have done well in recognising that its a problem that you nearly smacked her, and taking responsibility for your actions.You are not a shit mum, because you have reflected on all that and don't want to hurt her.

Just please see this episode as a 'warning sign' that you need to make some changes for you and your little girl.
Wishing you lots of luck xx

I'm not on my own but my partner dose work away Monday-Friday so a lot of the time it's just us.I changed my hours at work so I could spend more time with her and it seems to of made matters worse if I'm honest
I do try to comfort her when she's acting up but all she dose is scream in my face and hit me that's why I try to ignore her.it takes a lot to get me mad cos I am a calm person but she has drained my lately it's constant,the fact I nearly hit her kills me i have never been that mum and don't want to start either I never want her to feel unloved cos what ever it is she's going through she's emotional enough without feeling like her mum don't love her

Op

This is extreme. Really. You need to a timely engage with the school and I really do urge you to go to your GP.

Thanks for your messages i have taken all your advice and I have contacted my gp and I have an appointment at the end of the month. because I have the 1 child I got nothing to "compare" her behaviour to hopefully now we will get the help she needs

Hi - i am a single mum of an 18 year old daughter and I can only imagine how exhausted you must feel.
first just take her for a check up just to make sure she isn’t in pain or something physically wrong.
assuming she is fine - then get yourself a break - a day out once your partner is back.
have a day without her, even if just a long walk and coffee just to reset and miss her a little.
read some parenting books/ tips.
you have to have some energy to start this - so you need your break first. They feed off your feelings, so it’s good to try and feel calm. Then just ask her what she would like to do and on sunday morning, just sit and play or colour or play her game with her. Let her lead you a bit and play on the floor with her. Try and do this for as long as you can and set aside a few hours a week to play like this with her. No phones, screens, TV on - just give her your undivided attention.
then on other times when you have to be firmer to establish the boundaries you want, the relationship between you both will be a bit calmer and she will respond better and better. Good luck x