8 month old and 3.5 year old (are my kids incompatible)

[LittleLottieChaos]

I swear people always say ‘the baby just fits in with you’… this has not been the case with mine, he likes contact naps (yes we have tried many times to just put him in the cot, resulting in much shorter naps whilst if he’s on us it’s a decent one).

I can get him down to nap alone but have to cuddle him for about 10 minutes or feed him to sleep as otherwise he just screams and does not settle… problem being I am also watching our first born for the next few weeks as he’s off nursery.

Case in point: try to settle baby today, 3 year old running riot and disturbing his brother. He also dislikes the baby which does make it tough, so even when he is happy and awake the poor baby is being growled at and all toys taken from him if I allow the 3 year old… of course I have eyes on him like a hawk.

I guess all I want is an affirmation that this is how some small children are? They can’t just slot in with each other as they both want me and they both have needs. I however as one person cannot address them both at a given moment. When does it get easier?

Woe betide anyone who tells me ‘just wait until they’re teenagers’. Do you have to settle teenagers down to nap whilst their sibling is shouting ‘I need a poo’? Do both your teenagers wake in the night and need you to put them back to bed? No. Then move along.

I can't tell you when it gets easier, as mine are slightly younger (5 months and just turned 3), but I can offer some sympathy. My baby also didn't get the 'just fit in' memo. She's also been noise sensitive when sleeping since birth (heaven knows how, she certainly heard enough noise from DD1 in utero!), and even when DD1 is trying to be quiet, she's, well, three. 'Quiet' doesn't last very long.

I think even when baby does 'just fit in', everyone must get (many) moments where they both need you and you can't split yourself in two. Will baby nap in the buggy? I find we do better out and about, walk/scoot/balance bike to park, DD2 can fall asleep on the way and then nap whilst DD1 plays. I've also wheeled DD2 in circles round the garden until she fell asleep and then parked the buggy in the shade.

Now trying to get them both to sleep/back to sleep if they're upset at the same time I definitely haven't cracked...

@skkyelark Glad it’s not just me! Solidarity.

sadly my 3 year old refused the scooter, now hates walking and runs ahead of us if we go out so it’s just too dangerous (we live on a busy road and he’s just going through another challenging phase). I love getting out and would much rather be doing things than trapped at home.

Let’s both hope they get a bit more reasonable! I just can’t wait till September when nursery opens again and my baby is going to the childminder… I’ll be almost human again. 😂