Is your 10 year old stroppy and horrible about doing homework? And what do you do about it?

[WideWebWitch]

I have 10yo ds stropping around the house and being VILE because he has to do some homework. I've looked at it, it's EASY but he starts and gives up the minute he can't do it first time. He's lazy and stroppy and I'm beginning to wonder if he's a bit dim too. I am really frustrated with this, I've told him I can help but not do it for him but he does have to start it himself.

We agreed yesterday that he needed to do it today so his expectations were set early on (he needs this, my son) but it's a battle every week. And he only has ONE piece a WEEK and it's to underline some rhymes in a poem and some alliteration and to do some sudoku, it's not much and it's not hard and his behaviour is PISSING ME OFF.

Thnaks for listenign, any suggestions welcome.

Have you tried not pushing him to do it and leaving him to the consequences at school? Dd1 (aged 10) is good at doing homework but a bit dreamy and forgetful. I found that if I nagged her about stuff then she simply relied on me to prompt her to do it. So I stopped - a couple of lost house points and reduced golden time sessions soon sharpened her mind!

(If you were to go down that route then I would contact the teacher to let them know first)

Thank you. What happened is that calm dh came ni and calmed us both and helped him do it and now it's done.

Bloody homework!!
DD age 9 has to do a 'project' about a famous Victorian.
Tis like getting blood out of a stone. When she is doing it, she actually looks like it hurts
I am feeling your pain WWW.

lol spudmasher. I would not recommend screeching "why are you being so LAZY?" at them, doesn't work. We have both apologised to each other and had a hug and decided we need to come up with a plan for not letting it happen again.

Oh, so familiar. I never used to be able to stay calm either, so when DH wasn't around it's horrible, spoilt the weekend.

Anyway, what I have learnt to do now is ask what homework she has, and when she plans to do it, then remind her when that time comes and if strop ensues, make it clear that if she wants to be free to play/watch TV/ whatever later it has to be done.

Then I leave her to it. Often she'll faff about for an hour in her room before knuckling down, but it does get done in the end.

The "consequences at school" method can backfire spectacularly if the teacher isn't as bothered as you'd like them to be!

Hmmm. Have considered a plan too......something along the lines of- 10 homeworks completed = a treat like lunch out or a fiver in primark.......don't like bribery but as she pointed out, you've got to have some reward for doing work like adults get paid for it.
I gently tried to explain about deferred gratification and how her reward was knowledge and skills acquired ....but it went over her head.

Wickedwaterwitch - are you me and is your DS mine?

My DS1 (10.7) Yr6 is like this all the time. Although some of this morning was taken up going to get his haircut, I cut him some slack and said he could do his homework later on this afternoon. Guess what? He is so not interested.

I do feel awful being constantly on at him but they have to do a page each of maths and science sats revision every night and also have spellings given out on a Friday together with any research homework they may have to do. But like you, I say if you start now it will only take you 20 mins or so - but he has a strop on at even the mention of the word homework.

He is just like the character "Kevin" off Harry Enfield.

Said I would tell the teacher that I did not need the stress and the DS would have to be kept it after school till homework done

Worked like a charm
DS now at high school and has 5/6 bits a week, and it gets done the night it is given even if not due for a week.

Have you had a chat with the teacher to see if it can be better explained when given out if your son is giving up on it?

It won't be long before secondary school and homework EVERY night, I can't face this battle every night, I just can't Thanks everyone and yes Castille, prob best to shrug nd leave him but he says
"mum, can you help me? " (imagine all this in stroppy voice a la Kevin the teenager)
me: "yes, let me see"
ds: " I don't WANT you to HELP ME!"
Me: "Fine."
Ds" But I can't do it, you neeeeeeeeed to heeeeeeeeeelp meeeeeeeee"
Me "Aaaagghhh"

Yes, Kevin lives in our house too, god it;s wearing.

Kimi, he can do it if he tries. But this morning he read the question and said he couldn't do it, it was to identify a RHYME fgs! HE's TEN! He KNOWS Poo and shoe rhyme, grrrr

Id id say this morning, fine, leave it, you can explain to MR x why you didn't do it.Didn't work, obv!

He wants you to DO it for him, not HELP him understand it

It can be hard to learn to concentrate outside the classroom, I think that's where my DD was struggling.

I really think leaving him alone in his room to at least try would at least reduce your stress levels. And if he genuinely needs help he has to formulate a specific question, such as "what does this word mean?"

www whilst my ds was at primary school we had this battle. I moved him to a primary where they did not have homework as I dont believe in it anyway at primary level so the battles were over.

He moved to secondary school this year where they are better at checking and I didnt take up the battle again to see what would happen.

Sometimes he has forgotten and cried and stays up extra late to do it but I dont interfere and when he loses house points he really hates it. I dont have any compunction about leaving him to the mercy of his teachers now. I dont ask him about homework or interfere in any way. Secondary school is better.

DS1 - What are we having for tea?

Twiggy - Thought I would do pork stir fry and make the pear and chocolate pudding you like.

DS1 - No I don't want any pudding.

Twiggy - Fair enough I won't make it then, it will be easier on me.

DS1 - God Mum you are so harsh - I will have the pudding then.

DH - DS1 you can't blame your Mum now as you said you did not want the pudding. Why say no in the first place when you actually mean to say "oh yes Mum that would be nice".

arghhhhhh

I am dreading him going up to Yr7 in September. He will have to catch a bus to school then and be out of the house a lot earlier than he is now.

In a WAY it's easier when it's set every evening because it's just part of life. That's been my experience. My son's new school tends to set homework that can be completed in one sitting, which I much prefer. I used to hate the last-all-the-week projects!