I hate being a mother

[JJG12]

I hate being a mother.... I spoke to my GP he wanted me to go for counselling I do not have the childcare for counselling it's just me and my children! And I don't want to talk and talk and talk I just want to feel something anything that isn't exhaustion and regret. I love my children but if I could I'd go back and not have them. I thought I'd be a natural mother but far from it. My eldest is rude, self centered, abusive and has no respect for me. He only listens to me if I shout my head off which I don't want to do and it scares my youngest child. I'm stuck! I've tired rewards, praising postiices, health visitor, his school, every one and everything. I wish I could enter a coma for a month just to get some bloody peace I know how ridiculous that sounds. Why does everyone seem to have such a great time, my only happiness is when they both go to bed and leave me the hell alone.

sorry you’re feeling so overwhelmed and feel stuck. This can be fixed with counselling and support. can you schedule an appt when the children are at nursery or school? Can anyone help out for the duration of the session? Regard behaviour management can the HV offer advice, or can they recommend interventions/activities for the older child. If you’re calmer your child will be too and it’ll be an overall more positive environment for both of you. You’ll learn strategies to minimise the shouting and utilise other strategies that are more positive. I really wish you well, it doesn’t seem it now, things can and will improve over time. Take care of yourself

It's so so easy to say and it's been 2 years of hell with him I can't even sleep on a clean mattress because he has covered it in food make up shower gels anything he can find everytime I buy something new to replace what's he ruined it gets ruined again I've got used to living in a house covered in pen and gunk I have a small chi too I live on my own with them only so much time in-between a busy high pressured job work I take home and trying to be the best nother I can be. It's exhausting I don't even have make up or hair scrunches anymore he's even pooed in my bed once. I've tried everything and I mean everything except smacking him which I won't do. He has punched me several times the most when I was heavily pregnant I can't have any friends a partner a life or anything even basic things like food in my cupboards he destroys it all with washing up liquid etc saying be calmer is so easy to say.... I don't know how calm anyone would be after 2 years of being a prisoner in their own home and not being allowed a life or basic things like food and a clean bed.

How old is your oldest son? You sound very depressed and mentally overwhelmed, and it sounds like the bond between you both is severely lacking (perhaps has eroded over time?) and needs alot of support to improve.It sounds very difficult for you it really does...but i'm wondering if your children are picking up on the fact you regret and resent them so much, and it is making them feel rather insecure and unloved? (Not saying you don't love them, but if so do they know that?) x

One child is one and the other is six so more likely the eldest knows it but to be honest do you blame me he is vile to me and wrecks my home and has been doing for 2 years. I don't even own socks anymore no point buying them they get destroyed or thrown out of the window, I don't have a hairdryer, a hairbrush, hardly eat because what's the point of buying food for me that gets destroyed. He is rude arrogant lazy selfish and evil. He is lovely to everyone but me and I'm the person who does everything for him has never let him down has he taught him to love himself. I've had enough of him yes that's true.

Hi, that sounds like a horrible situation. Your son's behaviour sounds really quite extreme and I wonder if your GP or health visitor could potentially refer him for assessment to see if something is going on for him that could be addressed to help you all?

You could also ask about services like HomeStart which can offer parents support and access to other resources?

Do his school and your family know how bad things are for you at home?

His school have been great but only so much they can help especially as he is good at school. I don't have family near me. Health visiting team were useless, told me how to suck eggs and then said it was too high level for them. He was finally given a psychologist assessment (sessions are pending wait list) waiting for sbthrt agency to be involed. Essentially it's been 2 years of begging and being told no one can intervine until he's 7. He's nearly 7 and now I feel that our relationship break down is irreparable.