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Behaviour/development

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What am I doing wrong?

5 replies

Anon97531 · 26/07/2022 22:03

Hi,

I was just wondering if anyone could offer some suggestions or advice to help me control my three, nearly four year old.

He has always been a bit of needy child since he was born, and has never slept through the night, ever. I thought it was just because he was a baby and thought he would eventually settle. I've brought it up with the health visitor and she referred me to the sleep nurse. I had already tried most of the techniques she was suggesting, but would try them again - I was desperate to get him to sleep.

Fast forward to now. None of the sleep techniques ever worked and my son was discharged from the sleep nurse because they were going to put a referral in for Paeds. Unfortunately, Paeds won't accept a child with sleep issues, but it's more than that. He doesn't sleep (trouble falling and staying asleep) he's small for his age (2 year olds are bigger than him), he's aggressive and has multiple tantrums a day, he's obsessed with Lego (takes it everywhere with him), he often grunts or screams despite his speech and vocabulary being fine. He's clingy and just quirky.

I love him to bits, but I'm struggling with him and the health visitor (she's a new one) has met him once and said there's nothing wrong with him and the GP said to see how it goes. I've been doing that for almost 4 years and he's not like my other children. I'm not saying there's anything "wrong" with him or that he needs a label. I just need help how to manage his behaviour and lack of sleep.

Apologies for the rant, but I feel lost and don't know what to do or where to turn to.

OP posts:
Anon97531 · 27/07/2022 18:19

Does anyone have any advice?

OP posts:
Gardenoverflow · 27/07/2022 19:38

That sounds exhausting! I'm sorry I don't have much advice - but have you tried melatonin for the sleep issues?

Anon97531 · 27/07/2022 19:40

Gardenoverflow · 27/07/2022 19:38

That sounds exhausting! I'm sorry I don't have much advice - but have you tried melatonin for the sleep issues?

I requested it from the GP, but they said only a paediatrician can prescribe it and they won't accept a referral for sleep issues, so unfortunately I haven't been able to.

OP posts:
FoxInSocksOnKnoxInBox · 28/07/2022 15:55

Hi, I’m so sorry you’re going through this and the system is not being helpful when our issues seem to not be immediate or obvious problems/symptoms/illness. My aunt had experience with their child’s behaviour and was brushed off saying it was just toddler behaviour/development/etc. it will pass… they saw several GPs, but kept pushing and pushing for more answers. Unfortunately turned out it was something more serious. But they really had to push for answers. If your gut is telling you something is wrong, I would advice that you keep talking to different GPs, Health visitors, or anyone who will listen and point you in the right direction. It is so frustrating when we have to rely on NHS but they just don’t have time and resources for problems that don’t seem immediate or obvious. I don’t have any solid advice except to trust your gut, and if your gut is telling you something is not right - keep fighting for answers. xxxxx

Anon97531 · 28/07/2022 18:42

Thank you for your kind words. I have another appointment to see another GP, but it just feels like I am going round in circles. They are acknowledging his slow growth and problems sleeping, but won't investigate or suggest ways to overcome it.

I think his lack of sleep is the reason why he's growth is slow (he's smaller than a two year old and he's nearly four), and why he's having other issues. Hopefully this new GP will be more helpful 🤞

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