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Six year old refuses to do school work

32 replies

noideawhattodo · 18/01/2008 16:14

DS has had trouble with his behaviour ever since he started school. His behaviour has improved a lot recently but now he refuses to get any work done that involves writing.

He's really good at maths and reading but just will not do any kind of written work. Sometimes in a school day all he's done is write his name and the date. It's maybe one day out of five he actually gets anything done. I can get him to write at home - the school keeps sending home work he hasn't done for him to complete. However, it takes several hours with someone constantly supervising him. We can't just sit him down and tell him to get on with it, unless we stay and check every letter he just stops and stares around the room. He is always trying to avoid the work by trying to start a conversation about something else.

It has got to the point where I can't see why he's even at school if none of his work gets done there.

We have a meeting with an EdPsych we've seen before next week. The previous meetings were about his behaviour but she is now trying to find ways to get him to write. She has made suggestions to try to make writing more fun for him which we have tried and none have worked. I feel utterly worn out and like a useless parent over this whole situation.

When we try to talk to him about it, he's very contrite and promises to do better the next day, but it doesn't happen.

We have tried reward charts, home-school books, threats of things taken away, bribery and god knows what else and unless he decides to, he still doesn't work.
Can anyone help at all? I am feeling desperate and completely hopeless.

OP posts:
Unfitmother · 18/01/2008 18:28

Sounds crackers to me! See what the Ed Psych says but the school sound unreasonable. My DS's writing is appalling and he is 10. He has a statement and sometimes I've recorded or transcribed what he says for his homework.
How is he with a keyboard? There are typing programmes specifically for children and he could try typing his homework.
Sounds to me like you need a meeting with the Head or SENCO where you express your concerns.

emmaagain · 19/01/2008 20:11

Another vote here for "he might not be ready for formal school". Take the pressure off, or make the school take the pressure off.

What kind of life is it where you spend all day stuck in a room with people trying to force you to do this writing malarky that you're not yet interested in and then, because you haven't done it, you are made to take it home so your parents have to spend all evening putting you through the same thing? Urgh.

He sounds like a great child - I'd go with what he wants, meself.

cshell · 13/02/2010 03:22

I know this post is a couple of years old now but, I'm having the exact same problem with my 6 year old son. I've tried pretty much everything too. Like the original poster my son is very bright, is an excellent reader. He's a fantastic talker with great ideas. Lots of imagination. But Hates writing with a passion.
He reached a point where he completely stopped writing in school. They were giving him such a hard time and I think really knocked his confidence. I obviously went in and said my piece and basically told them to back off a little. He has now started writing a little.
The problem we have now he has been moved down from the top table to the 2nd from the bottom, he's not learning at the level he is capable of learning so he's getting left behind.
He's upset because he says it's because he's not clever and his so-called friends at school are calling him stupid.
I've tried to encourage him to write more at home but it leads to him flying off the handle or him getting upset (on the whole he is a calm placid, well behaved child).
Had a chat with his teacher again today who wants to put more pressure on him as she feels he's not reaching his potential. Said I would have a chat with him over this half-term.
Any ideas anyone?

Trickle · 13/02/2010 04:24

I'm dyslexic - but have always been a good reader, it is possible to read well (though still below intelligence) and write poorly. I had tantrums over writing - it made me feel stupid.

If it is dyslexia (or some other learning difficulty) being asked to write without the right support is just so stressful and it makes you angry with yourself that you can't do what everyone else clearly can. Going down two tables won't help either if the work wasn't out of his reach - I fell behind becasue they didn't streatch me and I got really board so didn't pay attention - it can be a bit of a vicious circal.

I'd really push for an assesment - I didn't get formal dx till I was 22 and it's messed with my education something rotten.

And I really have to aplologise for my spelling - it is usually better but my baby has eaten my brain and all my coping strategies too .

probono · 13/02/2010 04:40

Can he copy, as opposed to writing original work?

Sometimes it can be pressure to think and write at the same time, creating intense worry about what he is going to produce.

probono · 13/02/2010 04:41

Crumbs.. hadn't realised the date.....

Concernedmumof2boys · 18/09/2020 00:54

To the OP!
I’m aware that this post is 12 years old. I am very interested to hear how your then 6yo got on? You could be describing my 6yo.

We had issues proper to Lockdown. During Lockdown in order to get him to do his work, he needed me to stand over him to get him to do his work. Now he’s 6 and back at school. School are struggling with him even more.

@noideawhattodoI’d love to find out if/how the situation resolved itself

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