Hi all,
Feeling really down at the moment and could do with some advice. My son is 24 months old and we’ve notice for a while that he’s different to his peers, we suspect that he is on the Autism spectrum.
As the days can be quite demanding, for both myself and my partner we thought it would be a good idea to place our son into nursery for 3 half day mornings a week. When deciding on our nursery, we ensured we discussed our concerns over our sons development with them, including that he is non-verbal, doesn’t always respond to name and/or instruction but that we wanted him to experience a different environment and be around other kids. Our son is a very happy and smiley child who does give eye contact when he wants to as a result both nursery managers were quite surprised that we thought this, and told us that he could just have selective hearing and that he was just too young to tell for sure. Both myself and my partner decided that this was the nursery we wanted for our son. In the email exchange with the owner we explained that we suspect that our son is different and reiterated why we wanted to him to go there. The owner responded by saying that they cater to those with additional needs and not to worry as they would keep me updated about how he gets on.
Yesterday, day 1, settling in session for 1.5 hrs. All went ok however when my partner picked up my son the manager said that the next days session would be 2 hrs and they could keep him longer if he handled it well. When I spoke to the owner of the nursery about the invoice settlement I questioned what this would mean if he was having a second settling in session. She said that the feedback was positive and they would like my son for the full half day.
Today, day 2, dropped him off at 8 and at 11 I was called to collect him. Unfortunately due to the place becoming quite busy he was coping well and due to not wanting to have his nappy changed by them I needed to collect him. I am of course fine with this, however upon arrival I was given feedback that they are concerned that he doesn’t use a spoon to feed himself, doesn’t respond to name, won’t listen to instruction and won’t allow them to change his nappy. They then explained that someone who specialises in in SEND will attend his next nursery session to give their opinion, which may result in them forwarding him to a special needs nursery.
I am disappointed and upset to hear that they feel that they can’t cope after only 2 days despite having had these conversations with them prior. I knew that this would not be easy but naively thought that the nursery would work with me to overcome some of these issues so that he could remain there. I would love to know what everyone thinks including how you would handle it.
I would also like to add that I have paid myself as we don’t qualify for funding. And have paid for an admin fee £45 and the next two weeks of sessions.
For those that are curious our sons behaviours:
- Doesn’t always respond to his name, gets annoyed at us if it’s repeated
- Non verbal no words, although he has said Banana, No and Well done only once and never again and this was imitating us.
- Doesn’t always give us eye contact, only when he wants something or gives me a smile
- Doesn’t point or wave
- Doesn’t listen to instruction always, for example will ring the doorbell when I ask or switch the light on and off but won’t get his shoes, jacket or get into the car. Does the complete opposite of what I say - all the time.
- Not very good danger awareness and will run as soon as he’s out of the pushchair.
- Will attempt to eat soil, sand and creams
- Has so much energy, never stops. Climbs absolutely everything, and will continue doing something even if he’s fallen over and hurt himself. The best way to describe this is it’s as if he’s had cans upon cans of full fat coke. (So not your average hyper toddler)
- Has tantrums that be quite long due to the inability to express what he wants and will occasionally scream
- Spins the wheels on everything
- Super bright and is fascinated by how things operate
- Affectionate to both children and adults
- Eats unbelievably well including different textures - drinks loads of water
- Sleeps well
- Does not stim