How to wean 2.5 year old

[goforit99]

hi,

i’m very open, accepting and don’t judge those who wish to breastfeed until both child and mummy are ready regardless of other peoples

im ready to stop now as my daughter is 2.5 years old and I’m having really intense emotions when she grabs my boobs, it really irks me and I just want my body back I want my space ! She certainly doesn’t need it for feeding anymore and it’s more comfort. It is just me and her so I know it’s her way of connecting with me but I really don’t want to do it anymore.

any tips? She screams the house down and I give in because I can’t stand the whining!

thank you

How are the nights? Is she in her own room and might weaned?

@PritiPatelsMaker no, she has it anytime she wants, she will walk up to me and pull my top down and when I protest and say no, cover up my breasts and walk away, she waits till I come back and grabs my boobs again! She screams and whines so much and I can’t take it.
she sleeps next to me so maybe I should get her to start sleeping in her room, if that will help?

I fed both of mine to a similar age.

I'd start by getting yourself some space and putting her in her own room. I did this, and the night feeds naturally decreased.

Once she's settled in her new room, I'd try some gentle night weaning.

DH helped as well. Instead of her having a feed first thing in the morning he'd take her downstairs and give her breakfast so I could mainly snooze have a shower.

Another thing that helped in the day was only feeding in one spot and then never sitting there. So if they asked for it when we were out I could say, "no on the sofa when we get back". Just make sure you have a nice drink and snack to divert them with.

And I don't think she's too old to learn some BFing Manners, even if the plan is to be fully weaned soon.

@PritiPatelsMaker thank you for your tips, I’m actually excited to start her sleeping in her own space. She does feed to sleep so I’ll work on that once she’s been in her room for a few days.

Some people drop that lady feed first, some drop it last.

I dropped it last as I knew I could go out if I wanted to and she'd happily go to bed with a cup of milk and a story if I wasn't there

I also fed mine to a similar age and co-slept too. I stopped the morning feed first and DH took her downstairs for breakfast immediately on waking and then slowly cut out the day feeds by offering a drink or snack instead.

Once I had dealt with the day we moved onto nights. At bedtime, I said that Mummy's boobs have stopped working which she actually accepted quite easily. Yes there were a few tears on the second night once I think she realised this was the new norm but I offered lots of hugs, kindness and sympathy instead. At first I would like down and hold her, then just hold her hand and now I just need to be there although she will now go to sleep with just DH which is a major breakthrough.

I think you are going to have to be a bit firm but kind about it but it's not easy. I also agree with some bfing manners being a good idea.

@Mattieandmummy @PritiPatelsMaker i explained to her today that when she comes back from the weekend away with her dad, that mama’s boobah will not be working anymore and she will instead get lots of cuddles and kisses.. she said “yeah” hahaha, let’s see how that works on Monday.

thank you both

Great plan but you know the first time you relent she'll have you sussed 

Stay strong @goforit99 and enjoy your weekend

@PritiPatelsMaker im sure 😂.. thank you

My daughter was just over three when we stopped, having cut down gradually over a year or so. She stopped having daytime feeds when I went back to work (10 months - didn't want a bottle) but I fed her when I got home, fed her to sleep and during the night.

By the time she was 18 months I stopped BFing when we were out, it was at home only. She had a feed to nap, but she dropped the daytime nap when she turned two and by then was only feeding first thing in the morning, evening and during the night. We co-slept until she was just over two, and then I started to get her into her own room. The transition worked well (took a few days) and after a bit she would come and find me if she wanted a feed in the night rather than crying.

We talked quite a bit about feeds and how one day the b'sms (as she called them) would stop working, but that was fine because there were lots of delicious things she could eat instead. I can't remember whether I stopped the night feeds first, or stopped feeding her to sleep, but I think the former. I explained in advance, and just cuddled her when she woke (if she was very distressed I let her have a little bit), but we did get through that pretty quickly. I had a beanbag next to her bed and fell asleep there a few times. The huge breakthrough was stopping feeding to sleep. I switched story time around, and we fed, had stories, then lights out.

She continued with the morning feed until last Christmas, about two months after she turned three. A couple of times she had been distracted in the morning so forgot about a feed, and over Christmas it happened several days in a row - that was that! I let her have a feed again when she was miserable with a chest infection a week or so after, but she was fine about giving it up. She still likes to use them as a comfort blanket (I let her hold them rather than feed at bedtime at first), but only does that for a short while at bedtime or very early morning.

I never imagined that I'd BF for so long. I thought that after a year she would lose interest, but instead it was a drawn out but gentle way to stop. Sorry, this turned into a bit of an essay! Good luck.

@Latenightreader thats beautiful to read! It’s seems you did it in a very gentle way, taking time to really allow her to let go in her own time. Well done for doing it for so long, like you, I didn’t think I would breastfeed for this long but here we are. I don’t mean to complain, I love that it gives my daughter comfort and allows her to feel connected to me, I’m just concerned that it’s started to affect me emotionally which in turn may affect my daughter so for this reason I am stopping. She had her first night in her own bed without once waking up which was a success @PritiPatelsMaker :-). Now to put plasters on the boobahs to see what happens 😀

She had her first night in her own bed without once waking up which was a succes
That's fantastic

How are things going?

@Latenightreader not as smoothly as I wanted. My daughter returned from her stay with dad with a horrible viral infection and has been super upset so I’ve not tried to stop her from breastfeeding as it really seems to comfort her but, she has been ok with sleeping in her own room. I have a week away from her soon and I think I’ll start after she gets back as she would have gone the longest without it so fingers crossed.

thank you so much for checking in x

Getting her to sleep in her own room is a huge breakthrough - well done! Definitely a good call to let her BF when unwell. You'll get there - it isn't always a fast journey, but you have to follow your instincts. Always happy to have a chat if you need support - I didn't have anyone to talk to about stopping BF at this stage and it felt lonely at times.

@Latenightreader thank you for your support on here. Thankfully she’s feeling much better , I have allowed her to sleep next to me the past few days and if I’m honest, I love it, although I want some space it’s so comforting having her next to me. As for the bf’ing, I haven’t tried to stop her. I think I go through phases where I want to stop and then some when I’m happy to do it. I know she will self-wean eventually so for now, I’m going to just go with the flow as it feels like another task to stop bf’ing In addition to her sleeping in her own room.