Friends at nursery

[xxxbabyno1]

My 2.5 year old goes to nursery 2 and a half days. His full days are quite long 8.30-5.30 due to me working (single mum) and I have serious mum guilt for leaving him that long. His teachers are adamant that he enjoys it and is totally fine when he's in. But he often says he doesn't want to go. His speech isn't great so can't tell me why or tell me about his day when I pick him up.

Today as I was picking him up a little girl noticed I was there n who's mum I was. I said are you (my sons) friend and she said no. It's broke my heart and I know I'm being daft having worked in nurseries before that kids just say these things but I can't get it out my head. Should he even have friends at this age? Is it normal for a child to say they're not friends?

You need to stop all this guilt and self flagellation. He will be fine it’s you who’s in pieces
listen you really need to get more robust and resilient because you’ll undoubtedly get Jibes,digs,disapproval from other mums. If they see you’re ambivalent and or guilty it’ll be a pile on
you big nursery up to your boy, you’re breeze and upbeat. Off to nursery - wahey!
big it up. He will pick up if you have resistance or doubts.

is it Normal for kids to be blunt. Hell yes!
At nursery staff said to my dd oh look it’s Jack…your friend. She looked witheringly and shook her head. No! Not my friend. Her pov was they don’t play together, so no not mates

I get bad mum guilt so I hear you but at the end of the day I have to work and nursery offers so many more experiences for them.

My DS didn't speak at 2.5 so I know it's hard but does nursery give feedback? Hes 3.5 now and has only just started mentioning friends and even then they mostly parallel play. Can you find out a couple of names from nursery staff that he plays with?

As long as you trust the nursery he'll enjoy it and make more friends as he gets older.

Preschoolers come out with all sorts of crap and you have to not take it to heart. My 4YO was regularly telling me that all the other kids run away from her and only one girl plays with her. I suspected she was just spinning me a yarn as she'd only just had her birthday party and played beautifully with lots of her preschool friends there and seemed very popular. She's also very good at initiating friendships etc when we're out and about. I did ask her keyworker though and keyworker laughed and said she, like me, didn't know what she was on about as she's always playing with other kids. She did however point out that my dd is actually the one who sometimes prefers her own company and is happy to spend ages drawing for example

2.5 is very young anyway to be forming true friendships. They're only just really learning shared play. Also, the child you talked to might just not have fully understood your question or they may just not have spent much time with your child

I know about the mum guilt. We all get it However, if you're confident that the nursery is a good one then it will overall be a good thing for your ds. I suspect you'll see their social skills and ability to make friends and really play with other kids explode in the next few months. I know I did with my dd. Please take everything they say at this age with a massive pinch of salt though or you're in for a rough few years 🤣 x