Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

Original poster

Can't believe what DD just done to me, blimey if she's like this at 2..

15 replies

ScoobyDoo · 15/01/2008 15:45

Then god only know's what i am going to go through with her when she gets older.

Just went to pick ds up from school, dd insists on having her umbrella up, fine by me, then we get in the car she screams when i try to take umbrella off her, ok have it i thought, i can't be bothered, so we travel home with dd in her carseat with her fifi umbrella above her head

Went to get out the car, this time i take the umbrella off her to leave in the car for when it does rains, she grabs my hair with both hands & pulled it so hard she had 2 big chunks of my hair in her hands while screaming "noo" at me

It bloody hurt, so i carry her in & put her in her room, where she is screaming & banging on the wall (we live in a flat)

Still shocked she did that, ealier when she could not get her own way she pinched me really hard, why is she being so nasty? i hope she does not go to pre-school & do this when she starts.

How can i stop her being so nasty when she does not get her own way? spolt springs to mind here not by me though dp's fault that is.

OP posts:

Twiglett · 15/01/2008 15:47

you say no firmly and put her down and ignore her for 2 minutes

every single time

it's a developmental phase that is common to many children .. the more attention it gets the more it is reinforced ... it is not a character flaw

MamaG · 15/01/2008 15:48

agree completely with wiglett

Twiglett · 15/01/2008 15:48

if after 2 minutes she's still a screaming banshee talk to her, down at her level, in a calm voice say "when you calm down you can come for a cuddle / we can do xyz" then walk away for another 2 minutes

repeat ad nauseum

she doesn't need to be totally calm just showing signs of trying to calm

(also can teach her 'blow out the candles' to calm down .. hold up fingers as candles and she must blow them hard to make them go down .. it's a breathing exercise that helps)

sophiewd · 15/01/2008 15:50

DD does this, has stopped biting me and giggling, it hurts, lots, but i try really hard not to show her that it winds me up. Biting has now stopped and hair pulling getting much less. On the other hand, chucking my glasses away still going on.

Original poster

ScoobyDoo · 15/01/2008 15:50

Thanks Twiglett, she is calm at the moment so i will pop in & talk to her.

When she does these nasty things should i punish her & put her in her room/ naughty step when we move?

Her temper is terrible.

OP posts:

nailpolish · 15/01/2008 15:52

i do something a bit like what twig said, with dds

i got it from boogie beebies "blow up a BIG ball" and we hold our arms out like blowing up a beach ball and breathe out slowly

calms em down and you end up giggling too if lucky

then they will listen whenyou talk

doggiesayswoof · 15/01/2008 15:52

Agree completely with Twiglett and MamaG.

It's a phase.

DD has been v aggressive and irrational recently - always when she doesn't get her own way - including the "Running Slap" administered to dh's face. V hard not to react sometimes, but Twig's advice is the way to go.

Original poster

ScoobyDoo · 15/01/2008 15:52

DD also does the "find the nearest thing & throw it across the room" weather it's a toy, book or chair she throws it.

This is all new to me, god when i think about it ds has been a dream child through his years.

OP posts:

MrsEi25 · 15/01/2008 15:53

my DD is 2 and does this kind of thing alot. her fave is to dig her fingers into your mouth and scratch you as she can see that it hurts. she usually gets her own way when she does this to others (MIL, FIL, CM ETC) and is confused by my reaction of saying no firmly and ignoring her when she does this. she can get very upset but usually calms down after a couple of minutes and says sorry. i wouldnt worry as i can see that it is a phase and i would keep going how you are and she will catch on. it is really hard but worth it in the end with the little breakthroughs!!HTH
xx ei xx

Original poster

ScoobyDoo · 15/01/2008 15:58

Ok i went in to see her after she had stopped screaming, i told her it is not nice to pull hair & pointed at my hair, she sobbed, so knew she had done wrong.

I then tried the holding finger's up & showed her to blow, she did it & started to giggle (she liked that)

She is now out of her room & playing with her doll with ds

Thank you everyone, at least i know this is a phase & she won't just grow up to be a total monster (well saying that she still could)

Big thanks to Twiglett will do the blowing candles out from now on

OP posts:

Twiglett · 15/01/2008 19:13

you're welcome .. as she gets older she can choose how many candles to blow out too .. and you can play that she hasn't blown them hard enough so they don't all fall down

Original poster

ScoobyDoo · 15/01/2008 20:05

Twiglett i used it again when she had got out the bath, she was being a little naughty & would not listen so i thought i would distract her by using the candles, it worked she loves it & i managed to get her nappy on & her pj's with no hasstle afterwards.

Great game, she can count to five at the moment but would not understand if i asked her how many she wanted to blow out, sure it won't be to long though.

OP posts:

Tiggerish · 15/01/2008 20:12

I was going to post along the same lines - my dd (2.7) is driving us nuts. Much the same sort of thing, especially at bedtime.

We already do the 2 minutes bit, but the candles sound great Twiglett. Will try that tomorrow. Might also work with ds (5.8) when he has melt-downs.

Habbibu · 15/01/2008 20:30

Scooby, my mum's top tip if to say what you're going to do a little while before it happens, so in your example "We're going to go in the car in a few minutes to pick up ds, and then you'll have to put your umbrella down, but you can have it up later on, etc". I've seen it work on my niece, who's also 2, in the middle of John Lewis toy dept. Mum said she forgot one day, and said "right, we're going now". Cue full-on meltdown! It's not always going to work, but it's nice when it does.

cory · 15/01/2008 20:44

Ah, this takes me back... My dd used to bite at this age and it hurt! But I have to tell you that she was never in trouble later when she started nursery or school- I don't think she has ever had as much as a telling off. Her school reports have always mentioned how well behaved she is. So it's not like your behaviour at 2 is a sure sign of major trouble to come.

Come to think of it, I have been told that when I was a toddler, they would give me my sandwich on a spoon, to keep their fingers intact... And I have managed to stay out of trouble later in life. So there is still hope.

Habbibu's mum's top tip is a very good one.

Flip