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Behaviour/development

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My son's behaviour.

2 replies

Rose06 · 20/06/2022 19:51

Hello, i have started noticing behavior in my 4-year-old son that i don't notice in other children. Every time we take him to the park, soft play, or any activity that involves other children he always wants a friend. This is fine but he can get very upset when no one plays with him or get very attached when a child plays with him.
For example, we took him to soft play after preschool and it was a little early as there weren't many children at the center but he became very upset and started crying. He kept saying "I want to go out" (he wanted to leave). I finally managed to settle him and got him into the soft play area with another child but the child had to leave and my son started crying "mummy my friend, I want a friend". I managed to settle him again but he refused to play with me and instead wanted to be left alone and then he slowly made his way towards the other children. Eventually, he made a friend but he kept going over to this child's family while they were eating and pointing at the food, I was so embrassed. I managed to persuade him to leave but it was hard work.
We have the same problem at the park but we have noticed some children don't play with him because they struggle to understand him or parents will just pull their children away. This really impacts his confidence. I've explained to him that it's okay to play on your own and mummy and daddy love playing with him but he still insists on having friends.

I keep wondering if we are doing something wrong? We don't have any children in the family which I think makes it harder as he has no one his age to play with. We have tried to arrange play dates with a friend of his from preschool but the parents didn't show any interest.
I've searched the internet for answers and although his teachers at preschool keep telling me not to worry, I cant help it. I feel like we have let him down. Any help/guidance would be great.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Mummyof287 · 20/06/2022 21:27

You sound like a lovely mummy doing a great job.As much as I'm sure he enjoys playing with you and his daddy, and it's fantastic he has that opportunity, us adults can't quite give him what another child can play wise.I'm guessing he is an only child? I was too and used to get very upset when children I was playing with left again.Does he have any other particular other friends at pre-school? Could you maybe do a little impromptu 'party playdate' such as a picnic in the park, send out afew little invites to his faviroute friends to come along with their mummies/daddies etc? Perhaps that might break the ice and help you get to know some more parents.Or could you go along to some toddler groups or maybe preschool music or gymnastics etc groups in your local area to get him socialising more with a regular bunch and enable you to chat to more of the parents there? I wouldn't be concerned by his behaviour- more glad he is keen to be sociable, but I can see why you want to help him xx

Rose06 · 21/06/2022 11:19

@Mummyof287 thank you for your kind words and great advice. I never thought of a playdate party, it's a really good idea. However I need to try and see if other parents will show a interest. My son does attend clubs outside of preschool but parents just don't show a interest in getting kids together and I then start feeling guilty because I know my son wants to make friends.
It's so tough and I'm trying to make sure he feels secure and protected.
Thanks again :)

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