Thanks both. She’s amazing speech wise.
They always say she’s been good as gold at nursery.
I will look up those books, thanks.
for record this is an example of what she says.
At a weekend when we had lots of family together:
(my mum): we just need to get the bed out for granny (paternal grandmother)
DD: (shouting) it’s NOT granny it’s Grandma!
my mum (jokingly under her breath): I think DGD has it in for me. (as she is always correcting or talking like this to her).
Paternal grandma: bye DGD, I’m going now
DD: hmf. (Frown).
me: are you not going to say good bye DD?
DD: (bigger frown) No.
me: (sigh)
DD: (shouting): I don’t want to say goodbye! (Lies down face down on sofa). This happens every single time PDG leaves our house (we live near her so see her more than my mum). PDG just starts saying ‘it’s fine don’t worry, she’s just strong willed.’ But I don’t think this is true or ok.
othertimes she’s shouted in earshot of her aunty: I don’t want aunty X to look at me. Or whilst sitting near my dear friends little child, 2 years younger and earshot of her mum too: I don’t want her (good friends DD) to sit next to me. (I adore this little girl as I do my good friend so I felt insulted and hurt when she said that. As I do when she is rude to my mum).
I explained to DD after all of these that is not nice to say things like that. I explained a granny is another name for grandma to give her benefit of doubt. I also said you can move away if you don’t want to sit near someone or be in their view.
I asked her yesterday ‘do you know what polite means?’ She said ‘thank you, yes please’ (she’s so cute). But maybe she doesn’t know it also extends to HOW we say things? And that people have feelings? Perhaps It’s about teaching her how to regard others and the vehicle to do this is politeness?!
Her aunty, grandma and my mum say when it’s just her and them she is good as gold, and let’s them hug her etc. she said to my mum when she was alone with her (when I was at hospital giving birth) ‘I really love you DG’. And when we are going to my mums in the future she constantly asks when we are going and says ‘I miss DG’. I even filmed her saying it and sent it to my mum.
Maybe she’s just a child and it’s normal? But I hate it and I don’t want it to keep happening…. But I don’t want her to be a people pleaser either.
me and DH are both sensitive people and def givers. Very caring and kind types. So of course we are Uber kind to her. I wonder if that’s ok with adults but I need to be more stern or find more gentle discipline type methods with our DD.
After all it’s not like I’m telling her ‘off’ just guiding her towards what is good and proper ways to act….
it’s just how I do that. That’s where I’m a little stuck.