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Our dd so differnt to us, anyone else similar exp?
6

itscomplicatedlife · 19/06/2022 06:26

Since the day our dd was born she was difficult to care for, always needed to be held, tried to put her down she'd scream the place down, wanted to hold everything in sight and if couldn't would throw meltdowns that went on and on, taking her anywhere was intensely stressful as she was so incredibly fussy, we were fried by 6 months in. She also woke so much at night until 2.5 but our other friends babys hardly woke anywhere near as much and their characters were and still are so much more laid back and they've had a much more enjoyable time of it. I just wonder why and how it is some of get a much more challenging and difficult time of it than others...I know the answers prob just is how it is but just feel kind of frustrating as everything was so hard, she just seems to have a more difficult manner, refused to walk a lot until almost 3, didn't like holding hands until almost 3, isn't huggy, not at all interested in our dog whjch was a bit sad as again we have a couple of friends whose dds love their pet dog and like to hug it a lot but ours can't stand her being anywhere near her. She wakes nearly morning unhappy with a very loud shriek and cry and is just genuinely not a mornjng person, we're both very huggy smily and laid back characters and im just so surprised at how differnt she is, it's taken buckets of patience and tbh we're both on a stress level so fried. Her tantrums can be off the scale it's all honestly been exhausting and it hasn't been anything like how we thohhht it would be. We think she doesn't take after us at all most likely my mum who was very similar in character, I was hardly hugged as a child & had a very difficult relationship with my mum, my dad was the total opposite, I know why this is as it is It's just been such a challenge and we feel so alone in this as it doesn't seem to be common, Has anyone else had a similar experience to us???

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PritiPatelsMaker · 19/06/2022 10:06

I thought our DD wasn't much like us but as she's got older the similarities have been more noticeable.

How was your birth @itscomplicatedlife? If it was traumatic have you had any specialist counselling?

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mistymoo555 · 19/06/2022 19:30

Hopefully things will change as time goes on, I love her dearly but the difference even now 3 yrs on still amazes me. I haven't had any therapy, ended up with a 20 hr back to back Labour, ended up in theatre with a forceps delivery and a broken coccyx tbh I soon got over all that but it was the physical pain after as I couldn't sit for months for any longer than half hr without standing in between it was hell it just drained me and I couldn't cope as well, just didn't expect what I went through, and some just pop out in under an hour or so! 🤦‍♀️

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PritiPatelsMaker · 19/06/2022 19:42

Have you changed names @mistymoo555?

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mistymoo555 · 19/06/2022 19:54

Yes I prefer Mistymoo

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PritiPatelsMaker · 19/06/2022 20:12

This probably sounds really odd but I'd guessed from how you described your DD that you'd had a traumatic birth.

What you went through sounds awful and perhaps you're not quite as over it as you imagine?

It might be worth booking a session with a Counsellor who is experienced in Birth Trauma so that you can talk through the birth. The Birth Trauma Association should be able to put you in touch with one Flowers

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mistymoo555 · 19/06/2022 21:42

@PritiPatelsMaker Thank you I had no idea there was someone I could talk to about this, I was just left to get on with it, I was in severe pain just passing wind was worse than the birth it was hell, I lost 4 nts of sleep in Labour all nt then being on a recovery ward for 4 days, I then was being woken 3-5 times a nt and it went on for the last 2.5 yrs! I went bk to work FT by choice as I needed a break but couldn't sit all day for 5 days so went PT after 9 mths. It's just all been non stop and we've had zero help and support from any of our families . Il look in to that through thank you! X x

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