Please help. 17mo cannot self-regulate mouthfuls

[tiddletoddle400]

Really desperately seeking advice here. I'm really rattled after an incident tonight so I will try and make as much sense as I can with the issue.

My 17 month old loves her food. I'm really pleased about this as she's always keen to try to new things. I thought weaning had been a success. However, the struggle that DH and I face is that she often shovels her food because she enjoys it so much. I'm at the end of my tether with worry.

I want her to try and feed herself and there are times she's really good at doing it, but a lot of the time she just wants to stuff food into her mouth as opposed to actually enjoy the meal. She won't have swallowed her food and is already trying to put more in. Tonight she started choking. It was horrible.

The reason she started choking is because she was again stuffing food in that she had pinched off another plate and when I took it off of her she had a tantrum and this led to her choking. I am so upset this happened and realise enough is enough and hence now seeking advice.

I find myself having to feed her piece by piece to stop her from doing this when I feel like she ought to be at a stage where she is feeding herself finger foods. I want her to be aware that she shouldn't be putting in food until she swallows what she's got. She's a capable little girl and I don't know how to communicate safe eating with her.

If I'm doing something wrong I want to be told. Thanks in advance.

I will also add to this she has 3 square meals a day plus snacks and milk last thing at night so I don't think it's because of a hunger issue...

Does she use cutlery? Give her a spoon and fork and encourage her to use them . This will inevitably slow her down and she won’t be able to get as much in her mouth.

also was she actually chocking (no sound, going blue, looking panicked) or gagging (red face, coughing and spluttering). If chocking then yes you definitely need to intervene but if she was gagging that is normal and it is how she will learn not to overfill her mouth because gagging it’s very pleasant.

She is nearly there with using her spoon and can use it for claggy foods such as porridge or yogurt. I will try to keep on with using her cutlery as this is the only time she slows down.

She didn't turn blue and quiet, she was coughing and spluttering and a huge chunk of food popped out, so it was gagging I think?? Still absolutely terrifying. The restaurant staff ran over and got involved with trying to get the food out (we were out to eat at the time) and the whole palaver was so upsetting. My husband literally leapt on a chair to try and pull her out of her high-chair to slap her back. Whether this was the right response or not to the incident I don't know - it was really blind panic.