My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

How to teach 3 year old DS to defend himself against other children?

5 replies

Lily7050 · 04/06/2022 23:40

When my 3 yo DS gets pushed by other children, even younger ones, he never fights back. He would just cry and complain.
Today he has almost had his eye poked by another child at the playground. That child just came close to my DS and started pressing on DS's eye with one finger.
I cannot tell if this is something parents taught to that child because both parents were there watching and did not stop the violent boy. They just grabbed him, said "sorry" and ran away.
My DS is quite confident at climbing and other activities on playgrounds so I would like him to have more independence and not to hover over him all the time at playgrounds. But until he learns to defend himself somehow I am not confident to stay at distance at playgrounds.
I have looked at local karate and similar classes and the youngest age they accept is 4. I will phone them on Monday to see if they accept 3yo. I think it is better if he learns to defend himself before starting the reception next year.
I doubt just telling my DS to push/kick assaulters will work. I am thinking of practicing some pretend fights with me or his dad and make sure he learns how to respond.

OP posts:
Report
HelpIneedsomebodywontyouplease · 05/06/2022 08:02

I don’t think pretend fighting is the answer. Just teach him to say “no!” Or “Stop doing /don’t do that”.
the other parents did stop the boy if they grabbed him and took him away, I think describing toddlers as ‘violet’ is a bit much, they are all still learning about the world and how to interact at that age.

Report
Lily7050 · 05/06/2022 12:26

@HelpIneedsomebodywontyouplease : no, the issue was the other parents did not stop their child, nor even told him to stop. I had to pull the other child away from my DS. My DS still has red mark around his eye.
I suspect he will encounter a lot of children like that in the reception.

OP posts:
Report
Lily7050 · 05/06/2022 12:31

Forgot to add, there are children in my DS nursery group and among our neighbors who will slap or hit another child if they do not get what they want. However, so far as have seen both parents stopping their children.
Yesterday was something different and a different level of assault. Pressing an eye is the thing that is taught for self-defense. It is quite painful. That child would not stop pressing despite my DS screaming louder and louder. Looked very sadistic.
Self-defense classes are offered from age of 4 for a reason.

OP posts:
Report
Lily7050 · 05/06/2022 12:36

It was nursery staff member who told us that my DS never fights back. I think he needs to change his attitude and fight for himself. It is ok on the nursery ground or at parties where children are supervised. Public playgrounds are more difficult to monitor and I am not going to climb after my DS everywhere on the playgrounds for long.

OP posts:
Report
Mamapep · 13/06/2022 20:51

um no you don’t teach him to physically fight. You teach him to assert himself verbally then physically remove himself.
They don’t teach kids to be violent at karate either..

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.