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Should I Be Worried About My Son?

1 reply

VixenAndCub · 25/05/2022 16:33

So my son has recently turned 3, and started Nursery almost a month ago. He was fantastic the first week, but since then his mannerisms and behaviour have completely changed.

He is incredibly clingy to me, glued to my side at all times. My fiance works from home and has always been around but my son won't let him near us without fussing. My son seems so recluse now. Before, he was always very happy, hyper and loved to play with his toys from dawn to dusk. Always happy to accompany us to the corner shop, family/friends houses and trips to the city centre. Now he doesn't want to do anything. He just stays on the sofa and whines whenever I ask if he wants to go anywhere. He doesn't play either. He says he's tired all the time, no matter how good of a night/nap he's had. He's hardly eating either.

Obviously Fiance and I have noticed and have gone out of our way to try and help. We encourage roleplay with his toys which he used to love, games like Chase and Hide and Seek, we ask what he would like to eat and make him his favourites, we read his favourite books, try and see if he'll play new stimulating games - all with enthusiasm but nothing seems to bring that spark back. The only spark we see of absolute joy is when we pick him up from school. Then as soon as we get home he closes off. I have trips planned for Half Term, and we do regular playdates but he never seems excited by the idea of going somewhere anymore.

I've tried the other side of things too; cuddling him, plenty of kisses and asking him if he can explain what's wrong - in case he was in pain - and have quiet time watching his favourite films together, but that doesn't seem to help him either.

It screams depression to me, since that's how my Fiance and I used to act during our worst days (before Son was born, we've had therapy and medication long before he came along). But is it possible for someone so young to feel sadness like this?

I asked how he does at school, and according to the teacher he's brilliant. Participates, always smiling, willing to listen and learn. I thought maybe it was just exhaustion. He went to playgroup (2 hours a day, just like Nursery) for nearly a year before Nursery and he didn't change at all. He has a little afternoon nap, and instead of being back to himself now he's well rested, he just stays in his shell the rest of the day.

I feel like I have a completely different child. My happy-go-lucky boy has been replaced with this upset, depressed boy and I feel awful I can't seem to help him.

Is this normal? Should I be worried? Should I speak to his doctor?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
SnowBall86 · 27/05/2022 11:43

Hi VixenandCub! Didn’t want to read and run… it sounds like what many children experience when they start school/nursery and have this after school slump. It may not not necessarily be that he’s depressed but he certainly appears to be drained. Have you spoken to his nursery worker? What is he like when he’s at pre-school? How many hours does he do and how was his settling period? There’s a big difference between staying at home with your mum who is a safe person to going out there in a big world where you have to fight for attention and things that you like/want to do not to mention that you’re expected behave a certain way and need to figure out what people around you are like… It is very tiring indeed.
It may be that you might think of reducing the hours if you can, give him a snack/a little treat and space to chill as soon as you pick him up. When my son started school it took him 3/4 months to get back to his usual self… otherwise all he was interested after is just treats and TV. If he’s ok at the nursery, it’s just something that you might need to ride out. Talk to him, see what his concerns are and maybe address them with the nursery. If he’s not improving in a couple of months then maybe the nursery he goes to is not right for him? Are there any other options around?

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