Early autism signs in babies

[Amiem1992x]

Hi all,

just looking for some advice. I have a 13 month old daughter, who I never worried about from the time she was born until recently. She’s always hit milestones on time, seen public health nurse (we’re in Ireland) and she was very happy with my babies development. My daughter has been crawling since 8, is very independent, feeding herself , loves to play and keep herself entertained ,cruising along furniture has taken steps here and there. Babbling all day long, mama dada nanna and baba, very happy child. She makes eye contact with me and understands when I tell her no, doesn’t always turn when I call her name but she does watch tv when I’m getting stuff done and does be playing with toys.

I’m single mother so we live alone. She’s not around a lot of people maybe once a week we meet up with a friend and her son. Myself and my mother are the only regular family members my daughters see.My ex partners sister who may I add barely knows my child, has seen her probably 4/5 times since birth passed remarks that my daughter doesn’t make eye contact with people and insinuated that my daughter is autistic. Then a family member of mine who lives about 3 hours away and again has only met my daughter 3/4 times suggested she’s deaf as she didn’t make eye contact with her or her kids or made any interaction with them while we were at the zoo.

its taken a huge effect on my mental health and I am worrying about my child’s development. I never would of thought she was behind, deaf or showing signs or autism I feel so low about it and don’t know what to do I know she’s too young to be diagnosed. I just think it’s a simple case that she does not know these people and has no interest in them. She sees my nieces and nephews here and there maybe once a week when my mother minds my daughter so I can work and she loves being with them. I just don’t know how to not worry about this until she’s older to be assessed if she even needs to.

Any advice or suggestions gladly appreciated x

My son was deaf and i did not notice unfortunately and it took a few family members to tell me they thought he was as he didn’t look when we said his name. He didn’t make eye contact well he did until about 18 months then it stopped. But he stopped smiling at me at around 14 months. It’s like he developed fine then after his first birthday he started to decline. I looked back at photos from his first birthday and he was looking at the camera but not smiling. He did smile again but around 2 months later he stopped all together. I told my health visitor I think he’s deaf and it wasn’t until his 2 year check would she listen to me and we went for a hearing check and he failed immediately. I couldn’t believe all the times I’d read stories and sang songs to him that he had never heard my voice.
he had babbled as a baby but it all declined soon after his first birthday. After the smiling stopped the eye contact stopped. So at 18 months I was quite worried. Soon after his second birthday he was diagnosed with sever autism.
i don’t know why I never picked up on it until then it was only when looking back I seen how things had changed.

thwre I’d a chance your child has autism and is deaf, there is a a chance any child is, but it sometimes takes someone outside of the family home to spot this.

Also I’d say yes she doesn’t know these other children but children love other children. If you show up at soft play with your toddler and and another toddler is there they will play together. The fact she didn’t even look at them sounds exactly like my son, didn’t even acknowledge other children even in nursery aged 3-4 he wouldn’t even look at the other kids they said he walked past as if they were not there. I don’t want to upset you it’s not the end of the world anyways but the way you say she doesn’t always turn to her name (signs of autism) and didn’t even look at the other kids these are also signs of autism.

I have twins (15 months) and have posted about my son from a while back as I had (and still have) some concerns.

However, they are Covid babies, and certainly have not had as much interaction as I would have liked (and not getting out as much with twins!)

They did start nursery at 11 months, and he is different there under that setting, copying peers, and the focus / activities the staff provide. What I mean is, at home just with me I don't think is a true reflection of their capabilities. My daughter I haven't worried about, but my son only picked up some gestures and things from seeing his peers at nursery.

Saying that, they are not meant to 'play' together. They play side by side, and this is the norm even at nursery (until still a while off - maybe until they are past 2 or even 3 - i can't remember)

Both the twins won't give great eye contact to strangers, sometimes they will cry , when they go back to nursery after a break, they cry - loads of babies going in do when they see the staff at the door. They will just stare, and they don't give eye contact to visitors who turn up once either. They have a lot of stranger anxiety (which as I understand it is typical)

Hi, thanks so much for the replies. I have made the decision to just focus on today and not what could be in the future. It’s so true in regards to Covid babies my niece was the same she was born Jan 2020 so was behind in a lot of ways at one stage she would have a meltdown on a bus or car but has since come along. I am just going to take my daughters lead, and continue to teach her new things and concentrate on what’s important she’s hitting milestones. I have started singing more, more conversation getting out to play into parks. Worrying is a thief joy and taking me away from enjoying my baby. If she is diagnosed further down the line it’s just something I’ll deal with then. Iv been trying since she was a few months to get her into nursery but due to Covid it’s so so hard to get a place. I am going to look up mother and baby play groups close to me to get her interacting more. Though when she’s with my family she loves the company. It’s just people she doesn’t know which is normal. Definitely not deaf when I tell her no or get down from something she’s not supposed to be at she understands, or when I say let’s go get into the bath she’ll follow me straight away wiyj a smile (loves bathtime) thanks so much for the replies you have put me at ease SS1983 xx

I am glad you are feeling better and more positive. But honestly , your daughter sounds perfectly on track, if not ahead! I totally understand, I’ve been in a really bad place with anxiety too, and sometimes that clouds my judgement in regards to actual issues / delays vs me over analysing and worrying.

both my twins are the same, first time it is stares and wary , and then generally fine. With family they see often they are more engaged with them than me - I’m sure I get boring :) . Nursery is the same - it’s home from home. Although I met a couple parents who said their little ones have been crying and unsettled because they have just started or moved rooms , new staff and faces etc . So I do worry less, but nursery feedback gives me a much needed outside perspective sometimes. I think classes are a great idea ! Have you tried swimming , otherwise that is fun and great way to make friends

do take care and reach out if you need to talk , it’s a lonely place when we are worrying about our babies and anxiety takes over

Hi @Amiem1992x hows your little one come on?