Bratty toddler

[Sweetpea1989]

My happy and sociable little girl is two next month.

She has started shouting NO! At me to the simplest of questions, and started shouting, I want it NOW!!

I'm not sure how to deal with it but it's not going away and it's driving me bonkers. I gently say we don't ask like that, say 'can I have x please' or a gentle 'no thank you' and then she gently and happily asks/replies for things in the right manner.

Is this normal/a phase?? I've always said how important manners are to our parenting and I can't seem to change her behaviour. Me and my husband never shout/have cross words or are short with anyone. She doesn't have siblings but does go to a childminder, and I've asked my childminder if she's ok with it to correct her when she can.

Her language is really amazing for her age, and sometimes I worry that because of that I treat her like she's older than she is and more than her brain can comprehend.

Any advice appreciated!!

[Bluedabadeeba]

Hi there, she doesn't sound bratty, but like a totally normal 2yo. That's why called the terrible twos.😨 They're learning which boundaries they can push and how far (including how they can speak to people!). It'll possibly last a little longer yet, but sounds like you have a great and consistent approach, so she'll likely pick that up at some stage.

[Sweetpea1989]

Well that makes me feel a bit better, thanks for taking the time to reply!

[Ahurricaneofjacarandas]

Awww please don't call your baby bratty :-( This is absolutely normal. Just stay calm and remember that they're monkey see monkey do at this age so you need to mirror the behaviour you want. Just ask them as calmly as you can to ask you nicely for what they want and make sure you're absolutely not giving them what they want when they're like this be that something physical or just your attention. It gets better I promise x

[SnowBall86]

Oh the joys of terrible twos! Wine and then some more wine for mummy 😅

One thing I’ve done with my child is to try and reinforce positive behaviour. For example, when he shouted I’d say I see you’re frustrated, can you please repeat that in your gentle voice. And won’t give in until he said things calmly. Or mummy can’t hear you when you’re whining/shouting, please can you say it in a gentle voice so that I can hear you? Now, they won’t be perfect 100% of the time like we can’t be either but it does teach them how you want them to speak. I’d also agree with PP, it’s not bratty behaviour… it’s our job as parents to teach our children how to communicate correctly and manage their emotions. If your child has strong emotions, which she does, she will communicate those the way to have her needs met the only way she knows how to.

[Sweetpea1989]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Amen to more wine!

I haven't got much previous interaction with kids so I've no idea what's normal! When we were away she was just so snappy and rude to me out in public, it was a bit humiliating but like you say I do get that emotions are 10x bigger and she's not educated yet.

I really wanted to know there was a light at the end of the tunnel and that in time she would pick the right manners up!!

Has anything be dealt with kids mirroring naughty peers behaviour?

[Ahurricaneofjacarandas]

I think first rule OP is forget what other people think and focus on what your child needs. At the end of the day you only have to justify your parenting to your kid not to the judgy Karen in aisle 15 at Tesco. I'm sure you're doing fine. Just stay calm and have a glass of wine 🤣 xx