I feel like my baby prefers grandma over me

[Chira]

Hi, this might seem like something trivial, but I have no one to talk to about these feelings. I'm currently living with my in laws and my 8 month old prefers her grandma over me, even though I spend every waking minute caring for and loving her. The second she sees grandma she makes a big fuss to go to grandma and completely ignores me and doesn't want to come back to me. And my MIL keeps shoving it in my face how my baby loves her more and how she's always everyone's favorite.
I want to know how to deal with these emotions. This feeling of rejection hits me hard, because I've tried for so long to have a baby, only to be replaced by someone else so soon, just because I'm not as cheerful and fun as grandma☹. Any advice would be much appreciated...thanks

So normal! A relationship with grandparents is something very special. My kids absolutely see the second coming of Christ when grandma walks through the door! I suppose having such a strong relationship with grandparents is a cultural thing for us however you should feel blessed that your baby has gained such a loving relationship with her.

I agree that it's a good thing. I just want to know how to deal with these sad emotions I'm feeling. The fear of being replaced is probably every mother's fear. I just don't know how to feel better...

I completely see how you feel sad about this situation. It's awful that your MIL is claiming that your daughter prefers her and has the arrogance of saying she's everyone's favourite. But in my opinion, having worked with a lot of children, the person who gets the biggest fuss is not necessarily the 'favourite'. People that entertain children with lots of smiles and high energy (and I'm one of them) are not necessarily those with whom a child feels safe and content. Such people are entertaining but also exhausting for children and there comes a point when children feel tired, sickly or confused and they want the opposite of being entertained. Even when you are together and your daughter wants to stay with your MIL, it does not say anything about you but indicates your child may want to play a bit longer, doesn't want go and do the things a mum does (bath, bed, dinner and so on) or is simply high on giggles (children don't think straight when they are hyper). You may be less fun (which I don't actually believe) but you will make her feel safe, warm and loved- because you're her mum! That makes you totally irreplaceable. I don't have any tips apart from speaking to a professional as it sounds like you're feeling very insecure and possibly a bit depressed. Living with your in-laws is stressful and you're probably doing really well! Hang in there and take care Xxx

Thank you so much, Matilda128. Your comment has made me feel better about my situation. Btw, it's true, I am pretty boring compared to her grandma😅. I'm very introverted and not good at expressing emotions. But I'm trying to be better for my baby. I guess she's in a phase where she needs lots of sensory stimulation and expressiveness, something I'm lacking. Atleast her grandma provides this for her, so I'm thankful. And yes, living with in laws is HARD😂. Thank you for making me feel better😊