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5 month old cries all day
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ontheedge · 22/05/2022 06:51

My 5mo cries all day from the minute she wakes up at 5.30 to bedtime and still has 2-3 night feeds. My husband can not cope with her at all, so I do everything. But even I'm struggling now. We also have a 3 year old who gets no attention due to this. I'm on anti depressants because I'm so down. I've never known a baby like this before it is constant and all my friends with babies are shocked by her. I've been docs 3 times and they say there is nothing wrong with her. I have been throwing up all night but I'm still expected to get up with her in the night and at 5.30 & get her to sleep for naps etc because my DH cannot. when I complain I've had a hard day, he says he would switch roles with me anyday but then cannot cope after an hour with them both. My mum helps a lot but she needs her own time too so I try not to burden her with my own problems. at this point I honestly don't know how I am going to get through this. Before anyone says it I do not have PND, this is purely circumstantial. I feel that if I had an easy baby and more help from hubby I would be very content.

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AliceW89 · 22/05/2022 13:38

Bless you OP. It’s so hard having a miserable baby. DS was just the most discontented, demanding baby ever. Months 4-6 were particularly bad as were 10-14 ish. I feel like all he did during those months (/the whole of his first year) were whine, fuss and cry. I too was utterly depressed but it was all secondary to how difficult he was, not PND.

Firstly, does she literally cry all day (I mean every single second with no let up) or is it more situational? DS cried a lot, far far more than average, and for hours on end…but he did have periods of being happy - usually forward facing in the sling and being walked round outside in a busy environment, or at a baby sensory class, for example (although he screamed blue murder in the car en route there and back). If she literally never stops crying, I’d be getting a second medical opinion. If it’s situational, she probably is just really really high needs. I’m sure you’ve probably come across this concept when googling before.

You probably already know this, but if it is ‘just high needs’ then she will grow out of it. DS (just over 2) is now a massive extrovert, fiercely independent and requires vast amounts of physical and mental stimulation to sleep…but with every milestone he’s got so much more cheerful, to the extent I’d actually say he’s a happier than average toddler now. No tantrums or screaming rages or anything like that so far.

My only advice to survive it would be, don’t be afraid to use formal childcare (if you can afford it) to give yourself a break and to give you some time with your 3 year old. A couple of mornings a week or something like that when she’s 6 months old. My miserable baby swallowed me up and consumed me and I only really found myself again when I went back to work at 11 months.

Good luck x

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ontheedge · 22/05/2022 18:20

@AliceW89 thank you so much for your comment. I really appreciate the helpful advice & knowing I'm not the only one! (Because it feels that way)!

The crying is situational yes, she will smile and laugh and be content but it feels like more often than not she is miserable and I wonder what I'm doing wrong.

My son was very high needs but not quite as bad if I remember correctly. He is also now an easy, loving and happy toddler.

I guess I have to just look forward and hopefully she will grow out of it.

Xxx

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