Hi, so I’m a late 30’s FTM, who was the youngest in my family and have had no experience with babies whatsoever. My baby is actually only the 5th baby I’ve held in my life, and the other 4 only for about 10 mins max each! My point is, I really don’t know what I’m doing. To make things worse, I’m currently living abroad with no family or support group around me, and the pandemic has meant face to face mother and baby groups haven’t been happening where I live. So I’m here asking for advice!
My baby son, who I love to bits, is almost 5 months old. He had colic from about 1-3 months, which was really hard. My mum visited during this time and agreed it wasn’t normal and was likely colic, so at least I know I wasn’t just imagining that. Anyway, things finally got better. But by better, I suppose I mean the constant crying evolved into ongoing fussing, which in my eyes at the time was an improvement, so I was happier. But now I’m noticing the ongoing fussing can sometimes be relentless, and I’m wondering whether this is normal?
Some of his behaviours that result in this fussing involve:
- He always wants to move and can’t sit in the same place for longer than a few minutes, whether that be on a lap, high chair, play mat, bouncy chair etc.
- He can rarely entertain himself for more than a few minutes, he always needs someone playing with his toys with him
- He gets incredibly frustrated with toys, like he’s unable to get them to do what he wants them to do (i.e. to put them in his mouth), and so he has mini meltdowns until I take him away from the toys.
- He cries incessantly and ridiculously loudly if he wants something specific i.e. to get out of the car seat (even while driving), to get out of the pram while on walks, or to be fed the moment he wakes from a nap etc
- He still feeds at least every 2hrs during the day
So I don’t know whether this is just totally normal for a 5 month old baby, whether he’s a high needs baby that I will need to learn to live with, or whether he’s just going through some kind of developmental phase that he’ll grow out of. So I would really like your collective opinion.
On an additional point, I did think it could be teething issues, but he had both his two bottom front teeth come through last week, but the fussing hasn’t stopped.
I would also love some advice on how to deal with it. I’ve read so many books and articles all saying that how we treat babies at this age affects their behaviour for the rest of their lives, and it terrifies me that I could be screwing him up mentally because I’m not reacting to him in the way that I should.
I mean, I always try to remain calm and talk to him through the fussing, but I’m naturally quite a reserved person, and I often retreat into myself when in situations I find stressful. Although I'm always there for him physically, I sometimes worry that I don’t give him the correct emotional attention he needs.
TIA!