TRIGGER WARNING - inappropriate sexual behaviour in kids...possible abuse
skymap08 · 13/05/2022 17:58
Hi - my 7 year old son was shown pornographic photos last year by a friend of his (of the same age) who searched for them on his mom's phone. It happened a couple of times before I found out...he was super embarrassed when I did, but also said it had really upset him and he was freaked out by what he saw. As far as I know they didn't look at any videos, just naked women.
Now we're living in a new place, and we have a neighbor boy who is 10 and very friendly with my son. They have played together at his place and at ours. My son really likes him and is very cheerful and happy around him. This kid has two much older teen brothers who are around when my son goes over there, and who he likes. He says they play nerf guns with them. The parents are always home when they're there.
It didn't occur to me to be concerned until I walked into the room suddenly the other day and my son was sitting down and the older kid was standing up in front of him (both fully clothed). The older kid immediately jumped away and sat down with a really guilty look on his face. I asked them to leave the door open for the rest of the time he was there, and from then on I could hear them and see them easily and nothing else went on.
Later I spoke to my son about it and he is obviously feeling massively embarrassed about whatever happened (and had clearly happened before that day) and won't talk to me. He tries to run away from me if I bring it up, and says he will NEVER tell me. He doesn't seem upset about what happened, but is very, very determined that I shouldn't know. We've had all the usual talks about appropriate and inappropriate touching, he generally tells me everything and knows I don't react badly to things. I've told him he is not in trouble at ALL, but as his mum I just want to keep him safe.
I am at a loss about what to do. I've told him he can't go over to this kid's house anymore because I don't feel certain that inappropriate things won't happen there, but he knows he can invite the boy here to play because I can keep an eye on them. This kid is not super mature, not all that much bigger seeming than my kid....what the heck should I do/say? How should I approach it with my kid so he opens up? What if he was a willing participant in whatever they did (I'm guessing he probably was)?
PrinnyPree · 18/05/2022 08:23
Hi OP I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. If it was my son I would maybe contact the NSPCC and see if they could signpost me or your son to some help?
"Childline also has a huge online community where children can get support from their peers on message boards and use expert resources to help them through any issue they're worried about. If adults are worried about children they can get advice on 0808 800 5000 or [email protected] "
skymap08 · 19/05/2022 15:25
Thanks so much for your advice PrinnyPree. I have been out of the UK for nearly 30 years, so not very familiar with the resources available. Really appreciate the pointers.
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