reflux is generally the regurgitation of a large volume of the babies feed.
silent reflux is the warning signs without the regurgitation.
some warning signs are : fretting when feeding, only taking small feeds, regurgitating/acting in pain after feeds
my ds had silent reflux until about 4mo. he never took more than 3oz of milk (i switched from bf to ff to show hvs and docs he wasnt* eating) and was a generally unhappy baby.
at 5 mo it changed to normal reflux, he would drink 3-4oz and bring back 3/4of that!
he was still gaining weight, albeit slowly, so docs wouldnt do nayting. till he was about 6 mo and he was put on prescription formula (pre-thickened) it got better but he was still sicky, although it meant he could drink more as didnt associate milk with pain.
now hes 14 mo just moved onto cows milk and is sick about once every 2-3 weeks.
i'd say dont try to jump to conclusions but you know if your baby is unsettled but gettin hvs/gps to listen is hard! good luck ! i know how heartbreaking it can be!
(and sorry about the essay!)