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Behaviour/development

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7 month old hates cuddles

15 replies

LSarafyan · 28/04/2022 17:33

Hi all. Apologies in advance for the long message! I'm feeling a bit upset and worried as my 7 month DD absolutely hates to be cuddled! She's never been a very cuddly baby but in the last few weeks she really pushes us away and gets really upset if we hold her (unless we face her outwards then she will tolerate being held but still wriggles her arms and legs as if she'd rather be put down).

In many ways she seems like a happy, clever baby - she has good eye contact and smiles and laughs at games like peekaboo. She has been desperately trying to crawl this week and today has managed to shuffle herself forward and she also rolls both ways and sits unaided. She seems interested in other babies and adults and will make an 'ah' sound to get their attention.

However, there are a few things I'm worried about. She doesn't really babble (no consonant sounds...she just shouts a singular AH sound or makes a repetitive mmmm or uhhhh sound). She also rotates her wrists and flaps her hands a lot. She also rotates her toys by moving her wrists around and looks at them from different angles. She gets really overexcited by sensory stimulation e.g. lights or a piece of fabric being moved above her face and will sort of stiffen her body and move her hands and feet and make a sort of repetitive panting sound. She absolutely hates getting dressed, particularly sleeves and she has never enjoyed being rocked or held. She is often quite hyperactive and is rarely still. She gets frustrated easily and seems most content if I hold her in a standing position so she can bounce her knees. When she does this she has her mouth wide open and again makes her excited panting sound.

I'm hoping I just have a very active and independent little girl but I can't help but worry that she may have a sensory issue or ASD. At our 12 week scan, they detected a thickened nuchal fold so we had an amniocentesis to rule out genetic differences such as downs syndrome. Everything came back fine but I don't think I have ever fully relaxed since then and I still worry that something will be wrong. In addition to that, she also had quite a traumatic entrance to the world. She was in a back to back position and ended up being delivered in theatre by forceps. She still has a scar and her left eye is slightly more closed than the right. We had a lot of trouble with feeding in the early days and she used to scream and arch her back through every feed. She was prescribed omeprazole for silent reflux which she stopped just over two weeks ago.

I'm not sure what I'm hoping for by posting this - perhaps some reassurance or maybe some advice on whether these worries warrant a visit to the gp or if I'm just being overly anxious.

Thank you!

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PritiPatelsMaker · 28/04/2022 18:01

Everything you've described could absolutely be Normal Baby Behaviour.

I really would try and relax a little. I know that can be hard if you've had a traumatic birth. Have you had any help with your feelings about that?

LSarafyan · 28/04/2022 20:37

Thank you for your reply @PritiPatelsMaker I haven't really had any help with that. I mentioned to my GP at the 8 week check that I'd been feeling highly anxious (constantly checking baby was breathing, convinced something would be wrong with her etc) but she said it was normal and suggested I speak to NCT friends about it. I did speak to them briefly but I think I do feel the need to act like I have it all together!

OP posts:
PritiPatelsMaker · 28/04/2022 21:34

There is definitely no need to act like you have it all together, especially if you're struggling. Have you told your HV how you're feeling?

Reading this leaflet from the Birth Trauma Association might help as it suggests when to seek help. They also have a list of specialised Counsellors on their website.

Minster2012 · 28/04/2022 22:16

Also have a child here who as a baby didn't like being cuddled & constantly just wanted to be held upright & "bounced" like he was jumping or for someone to constantly move him up and down. He was late to crawl though maybe at nearly 10 months old but started at walk at bang on his first birthday. He's now 4 in the summer & absolutely great feral chatterbox running around climbing trees no issues. A friends baby was similar with the facing out bouncing they love it!

Kinderbueno89 · 04/05/2022 22:21

Hi,

I know you said you weren’t really sure what you were after by posting and I’m really not sure what I have to add but I have noticed a few similarities in my 6 month old baby. Particularly what you describe with the sensory stimulation and loving the fabric moved above the face etc. Also the omeprazole, the arching, the forceps, non stop bouncing, stand up holding is all very familiar. I would say that I do have concerns but they’re more to do with eye contact than the ones mentioned above if that’s any help? I would generally say if you do have concerns it’s good to mention them. Even if it’s just for better reassurance than Mumsnet can provide. I’ve found people really helpful with regards to looking out for baby.

Floryella · 06/05/2022 16:13

You could almost be writing about my daughter. She’s 6 months tomorrow and also seems to hate cuddles. She’s physically very advanced, almost crawling and extremely strong. I know she loves me as she smiles at me a lot and looks for me if I’m gone but it’s upsetting that she doesn’t seem soothed but cuddles, if anything it’s the opposite! She barely cries but will do if I hold her too long and try to gently rock her at all (she used to need to be rocked to sleep but now self soothes using her thumb). She loves being held so she can walk along and any physical games like bouncing.
She also had feeding issues and is on omeprazole. Hates drinking milk and has to be fed in the dark with a sound machine on which is the only time she’ll lay there and be held. I have to make sure her legs and feet are covered as if they touch anything like the side of a chair she gets overstimulated and can’t drink. It’s exhausting. She’s been on solids for almost 2 months due to low intake, we were referred to the paediatric dietician in the end!
Her vocalisations are also a bit behind but getting better now I’ve made an effort to reduce all background sound like tv/podcasts. She smiles and laughs a lot and loves to be talked or sung to, so I don’t think she’s autistic but definitely think there’s a sensory issue - everything except total darkness seems to be very very stimulating. It’s been like this since she was about 3 months.
I don’t have any advice but wanted to let you know you’re not alone. I think there’s a wide spectrum of normal and hopefully our little ones are just on one end of it! X

OrDis · 12/05/2022 12:03

Could just be personality. When my DD was that age she was very similar (pretty sure I searched for mumsnet threads with a similar title to yours)! She’s now 19 months and comes and gives me big cuddles regularly! I think she was just an independent girl who couldnt wait to get moving! Now she can do that she’s much happier to have cuddles!

Littlesoul123 · 21/12/2022 04:27

how is she

Danielle1989x · 10/02/2023 21:10

@LSarafyan Hey hun
do you have any update at all? My son sounds familiar in some things you described especially the cuddles. It’s getting me so down worrying why he doesn’t want us to cuddle him
any advice? Thank you x

LSarafyan · 10/02/2023 21:29

Hi @Danielle1989x thanks for your message. Please try not to worry - my daughter is now 16 months and she's doing great! She loves cuddles and kisses and is chatting away and loves to run and climb. She started walking early at 9.5 months and since then has been really happy. I often think she was always an active baby and couldn't wait to be on the move. I used to worry so much but I think I now realise that babies all develop differently and I wish I had been less anxious in the early months. I hope that helps!

OP posts:
Danielle1989x · 10/02/2023 21:47

@LSarafyan Thank you SO MUCH for getting back to me! I’ve been one worried mum the past few months. My son has so many strange quirks about him. One being the hand and feet twirling and then with him not having any comforts, like no bunny’s/teddy’s and not liking cuddles I’ve really worried about him

all he wants to do is stand a lot but his still quite wobbly (balance not great yet) but he tries to walk although he can’t ha! His 9 1/2 months old
I think he is the same. His always wanted to get about but wasn’t able to. His seemed happier since he can crawl but has his moments (got a bit of a temper) his teething and been poorly this week so it’s not been great week for us

did you breast feed?
he does babble and say Mum, Dad, sometimes No No and even Yeah! But his not very on demand. Just does it when he wants to lol! He stopped clapping aswell for 2 months but just started that today again
his honestly been a worry but I think his just so different to my 2 girls and it’s the hands and lack of affection that’s majorly concerned me

when did you notice the change in your little one? When did the hands stop?

thank you x

Danielle1989x · 15/02/2023 11:17

@LSarafyan Hey hun. Not sure if you saw my reply above

when did your baby start to show affection and also when did they stop the hand/feet movements

im having such a bad day
his been fighting his nap time with me for 45 minutes. He absolutely just hates a cuddle and you can’t even touch or stroke his face. It’s getting me down so much and I just don’t see an end to this at all. It’s like his getting worse

his becoming very frustrated and showing signs of being angry too now

Chzm · 04/06/2024 00:32

Kinderbueno89 · 04/05/2022 22:21

Hi,

I know you said you weren’t really sure what you were after by posting and I’m really not sure what I have to add but I have noticed a few similarities in my 6 month old baby. Particularly what you describe with the sensory stimulation and loving the fabric moved above the face etc. Also the omeprazole, the arching, the forceps, non stop bouncing, stand up holding is all very familiar. I would say that I do have concerns but they’re more to do with eye contact than the ones mentioned above if that’s any help? I would generally say if you do have concerns it’s good to mention them. Even if it’s just for better reassurance than Mumsnet can provide. I’ve found people really helpful with regards to looking out for baby.

Hey, can I please ask how your baby is doing now? I have similar concerns to you, particularly about eye contact!

thank you in advance I would appreciate a response x

Kinderbueno89 · 16/06/2024 15:10

Chzm · 04/06/2024 00:32

Hey, can I please ask how your baby is doing now? I have similar concerns to you, particularly about eye contact!

thank you in advance I would appreciate a response x

Hi,
they’re doing so well now! I would say they’re less social with other children than some. But very very social with adults. Really happy and chatty. Paediatrician had no concerns with development.

flowerlover1990 · 30/06/2024 22:14

LSarafyan · 10/02/2023 21:29

Hi @Danielle1989x thanks for your message. Please try not to worry - my daughter is now 16 months and she's doing great! She loves cuddles and kisses and is chatting away and loves to run and climb. She started walking early at 9.5 months and since then has been really happy. I often think she was always an active baby and couldn't wait to be on the move. I used to worry so much but I think I now realise that babies all develop differently and I wish I had been less anxious in the early months. I hope that helps!

Everything you've said is completely how my 6 month old boy has been recently and I've been worried sick. I had the same traumatic delivery as you as well. Is your little girl still doing well? X

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