ds first week of nursery and is in fits when i mention going today

[glaskham]

it is my ds's first week of nursery this week, he went yesterday and tuesday all on his own, and was fine, but all morning he's been telling me he doesn't want to go to nursery today and he'll go tomorrow.

i mentioned getting lunch before i get him dressed for nursery and he's in hysterics...screaming as if someones shot him, real tears which he never really has....what do i do- it's hard enough for me to leave him at nursery, and if he's like this on the way i'll never get him there aswell as push my dd's pushchair...

what do i do?...i have just over an hour before he's supposed to be there and he's not even eating his lunch as he says he doesn't want to go to nursery!!......

HELP!!!

hmmm....hard one this.

I have had two of mine do this to me.

with DD2 i listened and changed her nursery until she and I were happy.....took three different ones, but it helped her and me, but then I was pregnant with DD3 at the time and just couldn't do with the upsettyness of it all.

with DS2 however, I perseveered(sp?), and we got thro it...just. I did owever only send him every other day to start with until he was happy (he was in a pre-school one which was 5 seesions a week).

he is still not a happy bunny going to school (now YR1), but he does, and he knows I stand no nonsense altho I am sypathiteic to him.

I think it is all just so new, he is still finding his feet, so to speak.

good luck

so i just had to literally pin him between my legs to get his uniform on, he's now still screaming (for the last hour now) that he's tired and he wants a nap and wants to go to nursery tomorrow.

its got me in tears at how he is, he's trying to get his uniform off as i type this, screaming for his dummy so he can have a nap, and he's just put his other clothes he was wearing this mornign at my feet...and he still hasn't touched his lunch...i suppose he has been 2 days in a row and a third time if you count when i stayed with him....and he's never been away from me and his sister on his own with someone other than my mum before nursery.

think i may phone the teacher and explain and say i'll take him tomorrow, but let him rest today as it has been a busy week for him. I know the nursery is the best in the area, he loves it there but he's just not happy today...

Awww poor him and poor you, must be a tough one. I think I'd do the same as you though... let him stay at home today on condition he goes without a fuss tomorrow. If he normally likes it and just seems to need a day off then I'd go with it

If it was me I would tell him that you have just had a call and nursery is off today, keeping it really light, maybe have a day off tommorow and then thereafter dont mention going to nursery just pitch up and breeze in, chat to the staff and keep as calm as poss
Is there something he really likes playing with, when you go back you could call ahead and ask if they could help distract him with his favourite toy as he arrives, my ds went through the same, he has changed settings since, btw how old is he

he's just turned 3 (as in 3weeks ago tomorrow)

he's very much a mummy's boy, i phoned nursery to say i'm trying but i cant guarrentee he'll be there....they said just let him have the day off if he's tired and they'll see him tomorrow...

so i just told ds that i called his nursery teacher and she said he could have a rest at nursery if he wants, or he can go to bed for a nap at home and just go to nursery tomorrow...he said he wants to go to bed for a nap....

he phoned daddy (with a bit of help from me) at work and was in tears to him saying he didn't want to go....

My DS started nursery at 2.5 and had never really been away from me and cried when I dropped him off every day for about a year - full blown tears, gripping my leg, the whole works.

One morning the nursery teacher told me to go straight into the kitchen (which had a hatch opening into the nursery) on my out.

A bit puzzled I did so, to find that as soon as the doors closed behind me, DS stopped crying and went and played happily with the other kids - all the hysterics were purely for my benefit!!

Apparently this was what he'd been doing every day.

If your child is happy after you drop him off I think it is just a case of persevering. I wouldn't get into the habit of letting him stay off because he's causing a fuss as it may set a precident for the future.

ds was just under 3 when he started, he was fine until it occured to him I would be leaving him each time, it really broke my heart, and I was going to call it a day and keep him at home until the day when they had the trains out, he barely gave me a backward glance. He is in a different nursery and the main difference is he knows most of the kids there, could you invite some of the kids back for a play.

I agree with yo sb6699, i used to work in a nursery and it was so hard watching when mums would hang about for ages and the dc were obviously just putting on a show for them, but I suspect in this case the thought of going to nursery, the nervous anticipation is actually worse than the reality and if it can be played down, not mentioned and carry on regardless he will most likely be fine,

well....unlikely turn of events happened....about half an hour after nursery was supposed to start he'd been sat on my lap cuddling me, and he just asked if he can go to nursery now.... so i got his coat and bag on him and off we went!! got there and i let him in the doors, all the other kids were there all exited and helping him get his coat off, i didn't say a word, just mouthed to his key worker i would go while he was busy....and that was it, i went!! just got a call off her now to say he's been fine since he arrived and he never noticed i'd gone!!

and just in case you may think i'm one of the mothers that has 'hung about' the last couple of days i haven't...on tuesday i gave him a kiss and said goodbye and then left, and yesterday i just let him in the doors and he went off with his friends to his locker so i left again....so he never has problems when he's there, but i just hated seeing him in tears earlier!!

and its just a school nursery he's at, so he's the youngest there by a few months, he's the only one who's started this term, the rest all started in september so must be at least 4 mths older than him....but he gets on well with them as far as i know....i suppose he may have been tired and the cuddles with me before he left made him know i was still here and would collect him and everything!!

only an hour till i collect him now!!

Well done glaskham, I am glad it turned around, its like the donkey on the edge of the cliff you stop pulling them and they come with you, sounds like you have a healthy boy who likes having fun with his friends but loves cuddles with mum too

Well done glaskham, I am glad it turned around, its like the donkey on the edge of the cliff you stop pulling them and they come with you, sounds like you have a healthy boy who likes having fun with his friends but loves cuddles with mum too