Royal children/ behaviour

[Same1977]

I have been reading about parenting techniques etc and everywhere you look there are references on 'terrible twos' how 'there is nothing you can do about tantrums ' etc.
I am genuinely interested in finding out how some parents manage to have minimal misbehaving (royal kids for example ) .

I love kate and william's kids (presuming these are the kids you're thinking of when referring to royals) and they seem genuinely great parents and their kids behaviour is generally exemplary so I see why you're asking. I think there's a couple of things to remember though

1. The most well behaved children aren't necessarily the happiest. Superficial good behaviour is relatively easy to train into a child if you're firm and consistent with boundaries but it's only part of the process of developing a well adjusted adult

2. Will and Kate and many of the modern royals seem quite savvy in having an almost symbiotic relationship with the media. I think there's an unwritten agreement that the media will get just enough of their kids to keep the big newspapers and their readers happy but I think they're more in control of what the public sees of their kids than we realise. I'm sure their kids do have their moments but if the media were to portray them behaving like Chucky then the media know they would not get as much access to them in future hence we've never seen more than a cute mini tantrum or cheeky tongue out. I'd wager a lot if it is being proactive too eg making sure they're well fed and not sleep deprived prior to photographed events etc.

I think Will and Kate do seem to practice very positive parenting too by the looks of it and lead by example and their kids do seem genuinely lovely for it. However I'd bet their kids absolutely do misbehave and tantrum behind the scenes. They're human afterall.

I think the thing is you see the public face only. You don't see what goes on when they're alone!

I know that even when very small when I was in a place where I really needed good behaviour from them I could normally manage to get them through with a mixture of:

1. telling beforehand my expectations


2. making sure they were well rested and well fed beforehand


3. bribery (both "afterwards we will xyz", and during-raisins slipped in mouth were good)


4. removal swiftly if things looked like they might deteriorate before they got upset


5. paying attention to little things (eg if dc was very bothered about the scratch on shoe, sympathising and talking about how we'd sort it later/distraction.) Get down on their level and make them feel they had my attention when they needed it.


6. making sure they felt comfortable. With dd1, she loved to wear my watch and if she wore that she used to walk very carefully so not to damage it. With dd2 she was very particular about what she wore. It had to be a dress to be comfortable (now she's a teen I can't remember the last time she was in a dress) and ds it was telling him as much as possible beforehand what would happen and preparing for any loud noises or things that might scare him.


7. Making sure when they were visible was relatively short so while they were there it was exciting, and they were removed before they were bored

By doing this I could control how they appeared to others. Yes, they all had their moments, but on the whole at times when they really needed to behave they did well enough-occasionally with me hissing things quietly to them to get them through.
For mine these occasions were fairly few and far between (eg weddings) so I could afford to be a little spoiling in those situations. If I'd had to do them more regularly, I think it would have been harder.