We (as in, myself and DH, and school) are struggling to manage my 7yo DS's behaviour. He really struggles to regulate his emotions, with frequent and enormous eruptions over what are usually very minor things. He is also impulsive, and doesn't ever really stop to think about what he is going to do, which regularly lands him in trouble, especially at school.
He has a complex medical background, and spent most of his first year extremely unwell, in and out of hospital, with several surgeries along the way. He takes medication daily and still has blood tests four times a year (ish), but is generally now in very good health. We know from speaking to his specialist hospital that there is a link between his illness and behavioural/LD issues - trauma, impact of his illness on fundamental development and brain development, and lack of opportunity to develop social and emotional skills. There's a chance he will be classed as ND, although so far assessments don't seem to back this up. We have had input from the psychologist, but it hasn't really helped in the sense of giving us tools for us to help him manage his behaviour better. The school have also referred him for further assessments, which we know are being processed, but these can take 18months or longer - so again, it doesn't help us now.
We've tried tapping into his 'intrinsic motivation' with reward schemes, soft approaches, being more hard lined, and everything in between. He just doesn't seem to be absorbing and processing the fundamental rules of basic behaviour consistently enough (although having said that, he isn't like this all the time. He can go for weeks on end being a sweet, kind, loving boy. Which just makes it more confusing for us!)
I feel at a total loss as to how to help him. I feel like we've tried so much, and have asked for and accepted support from his school and hospital, and while I am so grateful for they help we have had, it hasn't actually done anything.
Can anyone offer any suggestions? We are really after practical ideas of how to help him. Thanks.