DSS is 9, almost 10. It's a long whilst since I had kids this age as mine are older teens so I'm unsure if we should be concerned. He seems to have no emotional resilience at all. So if something minor goes wrong or he doesn't like a situation he will instantly burst into hysterical tears.
An example might is last night-one of our dogs got out of the garden into next doors garden and wouldn't come back when called. It was dark and we couldn't see her but we were 99% sure she was there and just couldn't find her way back under the fence. Dh shouted her for a bit then came back in to get a torch to look for her. DSS immediately began to panic and was howling and in floods of tears. Dog was found, all was well, but he was still upset half an hour later....
Or we go into London and he freaks out and we have to come home because we have taken him to what he called a 'dodgy' area. It was spitalfields market! Different to what he is used to but in no way threatening.
Things like this happen a lot. In lots of ways he is a very young nearly 10 year old. He hasn't ever been asked to do much for himself like getting a drink or a snack, never been out on his own or left in the house for even 5 minutes-he'd be resistant to those things. He has had a tough few years as dh and his mum have been at loggerheads over child contact which has been kept from him as far as we're concerned but possibly when with mum it's a bit more out in the open and there is a bit of parental alienation going on from his mum towards dh which is becoming more and more evident.
He's a really sweet boy and I want to help him develop some coping mechanisms-as he can't go through life crying at the slightest thing.
When my own kids were like this if they were over reacting I would-gently-tell them so-but I'm not sure that's the right approach here.
We've suggested counselling to his mum and to him, to which he said he'd like it (someone neutral to chat to) but his Mum said no.