6 year old behaviour out of control

[JJG12]

My child has been out of control for 18 months now. It started low level drawing on things, the house etc and quickly escalated to punching me, pooing and weeing on the floors, throwing all of my belongings out of the window or destroying them. It happened long before he found out I was pregnant, and when the baby came he would wee or throw liquids on his pram or car seat (we live in a flat so not much storage, we keep pram and car seat in the home) so we could not go out for days whilst they were cleaned and dried. He shouts and screams always angry I live in a prison. I can’t even have a pen on my house. Every time I use prevention like locks on doors etc so he can’t get shower gels etc to throw around my house he just moved on to something else and sometimes his choices are quite terrifying. With all the best will in the world I can’t sit next to him 24/7 and all it takes is for me to pop to the kitchen to make him a drink for him to cause hundreds of pounds of damage. I could list the things he’s done or destroyed but I’d be here all day. I can’t have my partner even live with me now because it got so bad and now he’s started to put harmful things in his baby brothers cot. I can’t lock my room as if there’s a fire I can’t get to him. Even when I sleep he comes in my room and empties the tooth paste over my bed and floor. The amount of nights I get in to my bed and lay in shampoo and have to change my sheets and then wake my baby up…. I don’t have unlimited space to keep hiding things. He empties shower gel and soaps all over foods int eh cupboards. I have tried tirelessly with his school and health visiting team for a year and a half we have tied everyone everything but everything is answered with ‘before the child is 7 years old we can’t help’. We’ve had low level help and all sorts. I guess I just want to know has anyone been through this? I can’t even have photos up on my home everyone that doesn’t have him in he draws all over or breaks. Please don’t tell me to be positive and reward positive behaviour I’m not an idiot I have done all of this (sorry to sound harsh I just have had 18 months of being told how to suck eggs). We finally have had 2 yes this week about a play therapist assessment and a task force for support but it’s come at such a late date as I am now in such a deep lonely depression that I hate my life and I hate being a mother. I’m exhausted. I’m broke. And to top it off I do not feel attached at all to my child as I do not feel I know him, it’s like living with an abusive stranger. I don’t feel great about myself saying this but I don’t often feel love towards him and it’s such a burden to Carry around I feel like I will collapse any minute all day long.

[Genevie82]

Op, your situation now needs proper professional intervention, either by a family support team, child psychologist or social services. It could be developmental issues that haven’t been diagnosed yet or response to a past experience that’s playing out in behaviour x

[JJG12]

This is what I think and I’ve tried to bloody hard for this it’s exhausting I always get ‘ we can’t help until he’s 7’ believe me I have worked tirelessly.

[Amiayoungmumtho]

I think it's ridiculous that you've reached out for help, and it sounds like numerous times and been given little to none.
My child isn't 7 yet, and behavior isn't as extreme as this sounds but she has had a small assessment from an educational psychologist and has been referred for ADHD assessment.
Have you tried GP and school? (I know you probably have) I would keep going back and ask for a second opinion because it really does sound dangerous for your youngest, and obviously this child is crying out for help.
I'm so sorry, I hope you get some help asap.

[JJG12]

We are awaiting an assessment from a play therapist it all takes so bloody long and my dislike grows daily, he talks to me like crap and nothing I do is good enough. His father who was all but absent for the first few years of his life is the best thing since sliced bread. I don’t need to be the favourite I just need him to have a bit of respect for me. Thank you for listening x