HELP. I'm pregnant and my sons are waking VERY, VERY early. Ideas ladies.....PLEEEEASE.

[MommyD]

I have two sons aged 15 months and 31 months. The 31 month has recently started sleeping in a bed. He loves it. But recently he has been waking up at between 4:45 and 5:30 and wandering into our bedroom. He is clearly up for the day and no taking him back and putting him down works. He ends up screaming and wakes his younger brother. My day starts now at around 5:00, which is exhausting (I am pregnant).
HOW, HOW, HOW do you stop a 2 year old waking up/ getting out of bed early? He has recently dropped any daytime naps (just leaps out of his new bed), seems permanently tired and his night time sleep is getting shorter and shorter too. Until recently he has slept 7pm-7am.
Has anyone found that when their children dropped naps in the day, that they actually wake up earlier in the morning? Is it his new bed that is waking him early? I am at my wits end!!!!!
ds2 wakes at betwee 5:30 and 5:45 everyday too (if he has not already been woken by ds1). What can I do? All this disruption has also co-incided with me finding that I am pregnant!!! Typical....!

Sounds tough, MummyD!

I think all the things you've mentioned yourself could be playing a part in the early waking. I find dd (25 months) sleeps much worse at night when she hasn't had a daytime nap. And I imagine that if she was in a bed she'd be up way earlier than she is.

Unfortunately and annoyingly I have no solution other than to suggest you give your elder Ds something quiet to do on his own at that hour of the morning so you can at least 'rest'. But perhaps this bump will bring someone with more ideas?

When ds1 went into a bed at 22mths he would get out all of the time (nap time and going to bed mainly) so we had to resort to closing his door. Fortunately our door handles are quite high so he couldn't reach them. Eventually he learnt he could not get out of his room so he might as well stay in bed. Now he is 4 and we close his door when he is going to sleep but open it when we go up to bed. He has never really been an early riser though but if he did wake early we told him it was not time to get up and to go back to bed. Ds2 is a different matter but is still in his cot so haven't had to deal with him getting up early and wandering around yet.

Good luck

Thanks.

I am sure that the reason he is sleeping less is because he has dropped his nap (since being in a bed). I argue with dh over this. I did not want him to be in a bed as at least when he is in a cot it is more effort to climb out (pillows on floor so no harm done climbing out) and when I put him down for naps he stays there (sometimes). His new bed gives him choices and freedom and with me being pg, they are choices and freedon I would rather he didn't have just now!!! Would I be mad to reverse the decision and stick the sides back on his cotbed????

I don't think you'd be mad - I'd put them back on! He needs to know that he needs day time naps, and that 5am's too early. We tell our ds (who's 3 in two weeks time) that he needs his sleeps - he has 1 day time nap, and he has his door open (his request), and we close his door at night. He's always been a good sleeper, but on occasion he will try to argue - we just tell him there's no argument, and that after lunch/whatever programme he's watching (!) it's time for a sleep. If he wakes up early we tell him it's still night time and to go back to sleep - usually quite firmly...

V. tricky and I really feel for you, as our 7 month old has been up at 5am for the past few months.... Good luck..!

dot - but he is INCREDIBLY wilful - he WILL NOT go back to bed when asked at 5:00am and he WILL NOT stay in bed for a nap. It doesn't matter how many times I take him back, he just gets more and more determined and usually ends up screaming at the top of his lungs. I do not want him to rule the roost and have always been very firm when it comes to sleep but I am feeling very nervous as I am losing control of this battle - when I came to sleep, I was ALWAYS was boss and there was NEVER any messing about at bed-time Now he clearly thinks he is in charge.

What can I do to MAKE him stay in bed, or go back to bed???? I NEED MY SLEEP!!!!

in your shoes i'd be ferocious and explicit, and say that because he's not going to bed/staying there like a big boy, the cotbed sides are being put back until he's able to prove that he can stay very quietly in bed in the mornings -- as big boys do. then perhaps go back to star charts to reinforce the message for a while. i'm sure he WILL scream when you bring the cot sides back, but hey ho, at least you can tell him it's up to HIM to decide when he goes back into the bed. (say after a week or so of star stickers in the morning?)
(by the way my dd has only just gone into a bed (she's 3 tomorrow). it has led to some unsettled nights but thankgoodness she doesn't get UP (we raised her in a grobag, i don't think she knows she has legs in the dark).
also, we did drop her daytime nap a couple of months ago but boy, she needs it, was way grouchy by bedtime and prone to catnaps in the late afternoon. and yes i did find it led to unsettled nights, so we've reinstated it. -- just 20 mins at the max.)

oh and re reinstating daytime naps: she does fight it, but i try hard not get into a negotiation about it. though if desperate i may offer brisk compromise, ie, choose a book to look at in bed, do you want the door open etc. then just leave the room and let her get on with it.
she doesn't always sleep, by the way, but lies there in the dark. mood is equally improved either way.

bakedpot - you made me laugh out loud - your daughter thinking she has no legs in the dark!!

Problem now is that dh and I argue about this 'cos dh says we shouldn't put sides back on cot because he climbs out and might hurt himself. I think that having the sides can be a deterrant early in the morning. I don't think we should have taken the sides off at all, but dh 'won the battle'. Perhaps losing his lovely bed (i.e. with the sides back on) will mean he will behave at sleep time???

I have to admit we've had to be ferocious at times, but sleep is just non-negotiable... Can you threaten to take away something (e.g. pudding after tea or something he really likes) if he doesn't go back to bed? I know this sounds horrible, but it sounds like more of a control thing - he must actually need the sleep. Sorry - I'm not meaning to sound horrible or like I know the answer - FAR from it...

Maybe a nicer way would be a sticker chart - 5 mornings in bed until 6.30am = whatever...??!

MommyD - I'm 8 months pregnant and my autistic son is going through a phase of waking for 2 to 3 hours in the middle of the night. Have to admit it is killing me. He has a travel barrier up at his door (door is open)- we started that when he first went into a bed, and he still accepts it as meaning he has to stay in bed. Doesn;t stop him shouting, singing and laughing (occasionally crying) for 2 to 3 hours- at least i can try and doze. Other than that I just go to bed by 9pm!

MommyD -- yes, re losing the bed: that's what i mean about making it explicit. your DS is old enough to know about consquences/actions. he's not sleeping/lying in quietly, so he's not a big boy, so he's going back into the cot. if he continues to climb out of cot, that too is babyish behaviour and will delay the return to the big boy's bed, which you say he loves. fantastic, he should be fairly motivated in that case.

how does DS react to star charts? i'm a huge fan (dd quite keen too). get him to choose the stickers himself in the shop, help you draw up the chart.

if this doesn't work, could you borrow a grobag for a while, so he's not so mobile in the cotbed when the sides are up? again, he would HATE it initially -- explain why he has to sleep in one, tell him it's up to him to prove that he doesn't need it, by showing you that he can behave like a big boy... it's a lesson in self-determination, really!

also i think it's useful to have a good talk at nighttime about how, if it's dark when he wakes up, that means it's still sleeping time etc etc. give him a sippy cup of water and tell him its there if he's thirsty, have a sip, turn over and go back to sleep...i picked up that tip from another thread, and it worked for us

I have just been given a sleep management book/diary by my hv and it says that 44% of 2 year olds wake in the night (compared to 16% of 3 year olds and 35% of 18 monthers). They list a new bed as one of the prime causes.

(completely agree with everyone else in that as a 7-mth pregnant person, i've never needed sleep so desperately. i think in y/our situation, all's fair as far as sleep is concerned. i'm obsessed with strategies tosneak an extra half hour in bed but at the moment, we're battling with asthma/nightcough, and in that situation, all my cunning plans are proving kind of useless...)

dot - you are not being horrible. I would do ANYTHING to allow me to sleep at night. We live in an old house victorian house and the handles on the doors are quite high up, but he can just now reach them and open his door. I have even considered locking him in there!!!! How dreadful a Mum is that???!!! I just need a way of keeping him in bed. I am TERRIBLE if I haven't had enough sleep (as is he!!!) and now I am newly pregnant I need it even more. I get so short-tempered and miserable and with two under 2 and one on the way I need all the help I can get.
I am just about to put ds1 down (just got back from nursery) and will have the talk re: staying put. See if it works + he normally goes to bed at 7:30 - trying 6:45 tonight. Wish me luck!

jimjams - you have more than one son don't you? - does your son wake the other one up?

MommyD, I really sympathise, this is knackering isn't it? My DD is nearly 7 months old and also wakes for the day at about 5am - seems a lot worse when it's still so dark, as well.

Anyway, with DS (nearly 3), we put him in a big bed just after his 2nd birthday. Quite quickly he worked out he could get out of the bed and the room if he wanted. We put a stairgate across his doorway. If he doesn't go to sleep at bedtime, or wakes early, I go in and explain he can play with his stuff in his room but he can't come out yet. He does this quite happily, and in fact, if we ever leave the gate open by mistake, he stands in the doorway yelling at us to come and close it!

He also used to wake very early. In the end I was so tired I just gave in and gave him his morning milk when he woke. He had it in bed and would go back to sleep with it. Sometimes he still wakes at 4am, and I find if I change his nappy quickly and give him his milk, he'll go back to sleep till after 7am. I know you're not supposed to do this, bit it was the only way for us and at least it works

ot anymmore MommyD- but he used to. I suspect we'll have that to go through again with number 3!

TBH DS2 didn't bat an eyelid when ds1 screamed the house down for over 2 hours yesterday - so I guess he just tunes out- his normality!