12 month ASQ anxiety

[Twentysplenty]

I don’t know whether I should post this in mental health or here. I am so worried about my son. He is 11 months and isn’t pointing, saying any words, isn’t cruising or walking. He doesn’t give me things if I ask. He did wave on demand about a month ago but now only does it if he wants to - eg if I come into his room when he’s woken up. He doesn’t clap. He is very smiley, cries when I leave the room, laughs a lot. He rolls to get around. Doesn’t crawl or walk.

His assessment is in 2 weeks and after reading the ASQ questions I’m terrified. I know that sounds strange as he is either delayed or he isn’t but it’s really triggering for me him being ‘different’ in any way as I was bullied for being different. I couldn’t sleep last night for worrying, my minds been racing. Lack of sleep has meant my anxiety is even worse today.

Anyone got any advice on managing the anxiety or advice on baby being behind on communication, gross motor and personal social? Maybe he’ll be ok? Maybe he is just late? I’m actually scared to go to any baby classes as now I’m aware that other babies can say words, clap hands, come to their mum if asked etc. I feel so so down and inside I feel black.

I don’t know where to turn for advice. I went to the gp today and I’m going back after DS assessment to then decide whether I need to go on anti depressants.

Please be kind to me. I’m feeling very fragile.

I think the best thing to do would be to tslk through your fears at his assessment.

I know it's easier said than done but you really can't process anything until the assessment/review as it is the outcome that is bothering you.

Even if he is delayed, he might catch up. Some children do.

Thanks @HumunaHey. Do they catch up?

Hi @Twentysplenty I would try not to worry too much but still ask all the questions you want to when you have your assessment. (Postcode lottery BTW - we didn't get an assessment!)

FYI , my son is 13 months and doesn't walk either. Or cruise. Or point! Only says dada, nothing else. Not even mama (he might say mmmmmmma when upset)

He can wave, clap and puts his arm towards the curtains in the morning , or towards the back door when he sees the car, but it's not pointing.

Try not to worry. But write everything down and ask all the questions you need at your assessment

Thanks @csectionmumma for sharing. It makes me feel better knowing it’s not just him. I keep looking back at videos from when DS1 was a baby and he seemed so much more interactive. It’s getting me worried. Plus Googling. I need to stop now.

I’m surprised to hear the ASQs aren’t nationwide. Are you in the U.K.?

@Twentysplenty it must be hard when you already have one as you have them to compare to. But me as a 1st time mum does all the googling and looking at other babies in the park and gets equally worked up! Yes I am in the UK. We got forms sent in the post which we had to fill in at the 10 month mark (gross and fine motor skills ans communication etc). I got a call back at 12 months asking if he was doing any of them yet. One being cruising. We don't get an actual visit until they are 27 months old.

Having said that, he's had nursery bugs for 6 weeks and he's lost a bit of weight so I've been getting him weighed weekly by the HV and always ask if they think he looks "ok".

@Twentysplenty

Thanks *@HumunaHey*. Do they catch up?

Some do. Lots of babies are late walkers, talkers, etc.

You see it said lots om here something about when they all start school at 4/5 years old, you could never tell out of the bunch who was the first/last to walk/talk as a baby.

That being said, if you have concerns. Definitely flag them with your HV. Early intervention can help. And, in the meantime just encourage his development as much as you can - read lots of books, sing songs, narrate everything you are doing, take him to playgroups etc.

Let us know how you get on at his assessment x

Well since I’ve posted, he’s now playing peekaboo, clapping his hands and coming to me when I ask him. I can’t believe it!

He’s had his review and is behind on personal social and gross motor. She said they all develop at their own pace so not to worry. She’s ringing me in a couple of months to see how he’s doing.

That sounds positive. And your previous post goes to show they can take a big leap in development when you're not expecting it.

Your HV is right and it's good she's keeping am eye out and will check on him again. Hope you're feeling better about things now.

DD couldn't pull to stand at her 12 month assessment, never mind cruising or walking. She was a mean crawler though (although only started crawling just before 11 months, and putting herself in the seated position).
I think she may have scored five or maximum of ten points in the gross motor skills as they all seemed to relate to standing.
She is now 2 and a half and you would never guess she wasn't able to do those things. She walked at 16 months and started standing just before 13 months, but she is a speedy little ball of energy, running and hopping and refusing the pram at all times to walk instead. And she climbs everything! (So yes, I think she is all caught up).

Hi, just jumping on this thread as have had similar with my son and his ASQ. I was just wondering how things are going now, now you are a bit further down the road.

Hi @Madhouse1979 I’m the OP. I have absolutely no concerns now. He’s fine! In fact he’s ahead on a lot of communication and social things they rate him on at nursery. He talks loads, is a lot more kind than his brother was at that age! I can’t believe how worried I was when I read back at this post.

how olds your son?

Hi. My son is actually 7 now and I suspect ASD and ADHD. I'm in the process of getting him assessed and they want to know about early milestones so I got out his ASQ to see what it had said and he was behind with communication, personal social and gross motor. Just trying to piece together the puzzle and wanted to see if other people who had similar scores in the ASQ went on later to receive ASD/ADHD diagnoses. My son didn't catch up with speech and has always been delayed with this so sounds like you don't have anything to worry about now. Thanks for your reply. :)

Not walking isn't a concern until they're 18 months, which is a long way off yet