Hi everyone. Looking for some help and advice please.
DD is 8 and an introvert. She hates confrontation. She loves playing and is very mindful of respect and boundaries.
We have a family friend who's 7 year old is the exact opposite. She is loud, bossy and manages to get away with anything as long as she knows she shouts loud enough. No one can talk about any other child (especially my DD) when she is in the room or a tantrum will ensue that can go on for hours. Lately she has started treating my DD even worse e.g. if she sees her wearing pink, she'll just randomly start saying out loud how much she hates pink and it's a stupid colour. She would do it about anything that DD will be holding wearing. Naturally this really confuses my child because she doesn't understand why her peer hates something so intensely. After a few very rowdy confrontations from her, DD has decided to just shut this girl out whenever she sees her.
The tipping point was when she recently started a new tactic; to elicit a response from my DD, she's been walking up to her and asking her what DD thinks about her dress or book or toy.
The problem was my daughter didn't like what she was wearing so she just chose to stay quiet. Cue the longest emotional breakdown followed by her hitting my DD repeatedly with a toy and then running arms flailing and crying and shouting to her mum telling her that DD 'Hates my dress'. Both her parents are the kind to just give in to whatever she wants and get the crying stopped no matter what it takes so she managed to get a lot of hugs and kisses and consolation.
DD however was distraught and burst in to tears and was inconsolable for a few hours afterwards.
Now DH thinks that DD is stupid and needs to be taught how to tell 'white lies' because 'that is how the world works'. DD is so confused bless her because she kept explaining to me and him that she didn't like the girls top but could'nt tell her she hates it as that would hurt her feelings.
But apparently DH is now teaching her that even that was wrong and she should just tell a white lie.
I am confused AF since I don't want my daughter to lie, but at the same time I don't want her to be bullied incessantly like she is being currently by this girl and maybe to just say 'pretend' things to get her off her back.
Help me think internet peep! What do I guide her? The girls parents are never going to do anything. I can't confront them as they are DHs super special friends so that's never gonna happen. I can't avoid them either as they are family friends and we see them a lot as they are very close to DH.