New anxiety in 2.8yr old DS

[madmumNika]

Any advice would be much appreciated- my DS (2.8 nearly 2.9 y o) has in the past 2 weeks become very clingy and anxious. He has become scared of many things that previously didn't bother him (like snails!) as well as loud noises (which he's been scared of for a while) and has started waking in the night scared and needing a lot of comforting, plus taking a long time to settle if we stay anywhere other than at home. In all other respects he is as normal as any other toddler his age (if normal's the right word!) and has no health issues, other than having been born prematurely (30 weeks gestation). I am not working currently as DD was born 6 months ago, although he goes to a friend who he loves 3 mornings a week along with his sister so I can work on my PhD. We have had a lot of visitors staying over the xmas hols which I wonder has unsettled him but I am worried I am doing something wrong. When he is upset/scared I try to talk through his fears and reassure him, plus offer lots of cuddles. Any tips? The waking in the night is getting hard...

Many thanks for reading through all of this! xxx

PS. Meant to add otherwise he has no real behaviour issues - he is quite a happy child, very affectionate towards us and his sister, has accepted her very well- has his stubborn moments but is generally quite amenable (except when tired!!).

His sister has cystic fibrosis so we have quite a few hospital trips but I am only away with her one night a month, which I try to explain to him in advance... Just worried why my confident settled boy has become so easily scared...

Oh wow, very interested to read this. My DD did almost exactly the same thing at 2 yrs 9 months. Not quite the same, as it involved sudden fear of nighttime things more than daytime ones, but also suddenly very very anxious and unhappy about being left at nursery. I thought it was a delayed response to having started nursery a month earlier, but maybe it is just a developmental phase?

With her, it lasted about 2 weeks at its very worst and carried on for a few weeks in slightly less extreme form. It was grim - I was exhausted from the night wakings and from the freakouts about bedtime.

I don't think I have anything all that useful to offer in the way of advice, and of course I may be barking up completely the wrong tree in any case, in making a connection with my DD's fears. But I feel that in her case, it was to do with her imagination becoming more sophisticated. She started to wonder whether she might die like our goldfish, since she had a cough. And wondered whether I would be dying soon. And pondered the methods by which Scary Monsters might get into the house.

She is now 3, and still wonders about these things and sometimes needs reassurance at bedtime, but it all seems at a much more normal level now and I'm not worried about her. I did have a very worried fortnight though at the start.

Have just re-read my post and realise it sounds rather insensitive. Sorry for rapid response... what I obviously meant to say and should have, is that I do sympathise. You must be having an exhausting and worrying time. I also think it sounds as though you are doing everything right, actually. Good luck.