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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Is it only my son?

27 replies

hmb · 21/11/2004 17:58

My son is 4, going on for 5 and we have just been to a birthday pary with, oh dreaded thing, a disco.

I was totaly overwhelmed by it for the first 45 minutes of the party (relaxed a bit towards the end). He sat on my lap, covering his ears with his eyes shut. I know that this is a ASD trait, but I a reasonably sure he is NT (if close to the edge IYSWIM). Does anyone else find this in their children and is it more of a boy thing?

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lavender2 · 21/11/2004 18:01

think it's a boy thing but discos are flippin loud imho and if he's not used to it then maybe it was a bit of a shock for him (my ds didn't like the noise at the youth club from discos whe he was 9)...am sure other mumsnetters will have some good advice for you though.

jampot · 21/11/2004 18:01

My boy does this hmb - and even when flushing the toilet. He'll flush then run out of the bathroom with his hands over his ears, sometimes also with the vacuum.

jampot · 21/11/2004 18:02

I didn't know it was an ASD thing by the way

Original poster

hmb · 21/11/2004 18:04

many children with ASD have problems with 'sensory overload'

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Original poster

hmb · 21/11/2004 18:05

Not that any one thing 'means ' ASD IYSWIM

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jampot · 21/11/2004 18:05

sorry to be ignorant but what is that?

Nutcracker · 21/11/2004 18:06

My eldest dd does this with alot of things, she just hates loud noise.
She still clings to me for dear life when we hear a siren and she is 7 now.

Original poster

hmb · 21/11/2004 18:07

Just being over loaded, or overwhelmed by the amount of sensations that they get. They can be triggered by sound, or light, or touch. It isn't the same for all people wit ASD. There are other on MN who know a lot more than me on this one.

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coppertop · 21/11/2004 18:07

Ds1 hates the noise but finds the lights almost hypnotic.

jampot · 21/11/2004 18:08

I can't have a conversation with anyone if the tv or radio is on. If I visit a friend and either is on I have to ask if they can switch it off as I cannot concentrate on the conversation - I just automatically tune in to the radio/tv. Ive always been like this. And much to my horror, Lloyds Bank and McDonalds have installed them in our local branch/restaurant. I simply could not go and sit there with it on.

Jimjams · 21/11/2004 18:29

aww he's a sensitive soul. DS2 can be the same- definitely has sensory issues- hates the car fan heater being on "it's all windy mummy", but is as NT as they come.

DS1 doesn't mind disco noise although his hands whack over his ears for lots of quieter things (mainly human type noises- babies crying etc).

Original poster

hmb · 21/11/2004 18:34

I am sure that ds is NT as well, but he just gets so unhappy at these sorts of party. He can't cope with it, and sat out most of the games. I just got the chance to give him a big hug and covered his ears. Poor lad.

He is settling into school well, which has been a huge relief as I thought we were in for a difficult time. His teacher is so good with him and he now takes part with most activities.....still finds paint a bit of a no-no.

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scaltygirl · 21/11/2004 18:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

blueteddy · 21/11/2004 19:22

My ds is just the same.
He has fluid in both his ears, so does not hear as well as he should, but HATES any loud noises.
I tried 2 take him 2 a Halloween disco & he put his hands over his ears as soon as we entered & would not leave my side all night!

Hausfrau · 21/11/2004 19:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

berolina · 21/11/2004 20:02

I might be a bit old-fashioned but... discos at age 4/5?!?!? I'm all of 27 and remember going to discos from age 7 or so, but this does seem pretty young to be having disco parties - is it normal these days? I'm no expert but don't think a child that age reacting like that necessarily indicates ASD.
Here's something to reassure you and make you laugh, hmb (and all of you in fact!) When I was little it was the last couple of years of ATV (in our area it changed to ITV/Central when I was 6 or 7 or so) and I absolutely HATED that ident with the loud fanfare and blue/yellow screen - anyone remember it? - I was scared stiff of it, would leave the room when it came on if possible, and if not I'd put my fingers over my ears and screw my eyes shut. It was just way too brash and loud for me!!!

Original poster

hmb · 21/11/2004 20:10

I'm honestly not worried that it is asd, as other on mn have listed the range of things that lead to that diagnosis. I was just interested to see how common it is.

It does seem to be common in a lot of little boys, are girls just more sociable/outgoing in that sort of environment?

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Jimjams · 21/11/2004 20:10

hmb ds2 may have loads and loads of sensory issues- honestly. Won't wear this, that's too noisy, this is too windy, the seaside's too dirty etc. I'm never sure how much of it is just lack of exposure (for example he's never actually sat on a beach and played as ds1 won't do that- so he's only ever been on a beach in wellies in the winter - as ds1 will do that- this is despite being able to see the sea from the back of the house!), how much is copying ds1 (refusal to wear hats for example) and how much is genuine sensory issues. I figure he's just a bit of a sensitive soul (is quite easily frightened for example). if the noise issue became a problem say at school you could always do AIT, otherwise I'd not worry.

Jimjams · 21/11/2004 20:11

girls/women can multitask! better at processing multiple sensory stuff.....

Original poster

hmb · 21/11/2004 20:25

He does have a few other sensory issues, he hates to pain because (I think) of the feel of it, food textures throw him a bit and he is very picky about his food. He also walks on tip toe (just like his dad)
He also went through a phase of 'sniffing'things, but this is begining to pass.

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suedonim · 22/11/2004 05:42

Dd1 would also cringe at a lot of noise, she was very sensitive to it, but is in no way asd. Sadly, now she's a teenager, her tolerance for extra-loud bad music far exceeds mine!

suzywong · 22/11/2004 06:05

mine 3.5 DS1 has just started to put hands over ears and eyes shut, mainly when I am telling him off and when his younger brother is yelling.

Interesting you should mention it as I have only just noticed it

suzywong · 22/11/2004 07:12

mine 3.5 DS1 has just started to put hands over ears and eyes shut, mainly when I am telling him off and when his younger brother is yelling.

Interesting you should mention it as I have only just noticed it

tigermoth · 22/11/2004 07:24

my oldest ds didn't like discos for ages - for some reason they made him feel very shy. He also didn't like dancing - I think that is more a boy thing. (Though I wonder what John Travolta thought of discos when he was 4 years old).

Marina · 22/11/2004 09:07

hmb, my best friend's son, a really cracking little fellow, is six and only now beginning to tolerate anything like this. At 4 he didn't like the echoey sound of a busy swimming pool, loathed Gymteds or anything in a large room with lots of noise. He is NT but has occasionally given his parents pause for thought in the past because of this precise trait.

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