LO "bullied" by autistic child at nursery.

[OnNaturesCourse]

I'm wondering how best to approach this.

The nursery are aware about the incidents and have advised me "not to worry as its all children being effected, not just my little one" and that they are aware so can monitor the situation. They have only recently advised me that the other child is on the spectrum and struggling in main stream nursery so is lashing out.

My LO has been physically hurt once, the rest is things like drawings being torn up, work distroyed or things "stolen" out her hands/bag.

I have had a recent discussion with my child to try to explain the reason behind the other child's actions in the hope it educates my LO and helps LO navigate the situation at nursery but I really struggled to find the right terms and explanation of autism. How has anyone else approached this conversation with a nursery aged child?

Also how would you handle the ongoing issues with my child being hurt / "picked on" (for want of a better term...) given that the other child doesn't really understand their actions from what I've been told. AIBU to think that the child either needs additional help/support and that my child (and others) shouldn't have to cope with this at nursery?

Talk to the nursery. Your child has a right to be safe at nursery and the nursery have a duty to protect all the children including your child. Keep what you say related to the effects on your child. Really the nursery shouldn't be telling you the child's diagnosis, that breaches confidentiality. The nursery may need to supervise the other child more closely, the child may need a one-to-one, a mainstream setting may not be suitable - but that is not your child's problem and whatever the reason the nursery need to make sure your child is having a good experience. Make it clear that you expect the staff to intervene to protect your child. Just "monitoring the situation" isn't enough if your child is still getting upset or hurt often.

Apparently the child's parents have given the go ahead for the teachers to speak with other parents and children about the matter. I get the feeling there have been a lot of incidents. I know of one child getting a head injury!

Then the nursery need to monitor much more closely and intervene before any more accidents happen. The nursery can't use the child's disability to get out of their own responsibilities to look after all the children instead of making hard decisions about resources and/or whether they can safely accommodate this child. There's not much you can do about other children but you can ask the nursery what they are doing to protect your child and to stop injuries and upset from happening to your child; and complain every time this child hurts or upsets your child. Avoid words like "pick on" - they give the nursery the chance to ague your child isn't being "picked on" because other children are getting hurt and upset too(!!). Say what happened to your child, how your child felt and what effects it's having, ask how they will deal with it and what they have put in place to stop it happening to your child in future. If they say they are applying for extra resources, ask when they expect to have them in place and what they are doing in the meantime. And the nursery should be able to explain to the children how to interact safely with this child, and if they can't then it's up to them to intervene.

That's their job.