3 year old does not play with other kids at all! Worried mum!

[RishMum]

Mums! Please help. DD just turned 3 few weeks ago and is extremely chatty, communicative and confident at home. She can vocalise very well her thoughts and needs and is extremely opinionated. But she is extremely shy outside of home or if there is an outsider at home (well known or new).
We live in a nice community where there are children her age around who come out to play in evenings. All of them are running around or playing but DD will be clinging to my leg or dragging me with her. She does not move away even few feet to play with other children. Won't ride her scooter even for a short distance if there are people or children around unless me or Daddy are walking alongside. I have tried having play dates with neighbour's daughter few months older but DD doesn't play at all even when in our own home. Though before the play date if I talk her she tells me whole lot of stories about how she will share her toys and play etc but when it actually happens she wouldn't leave me to have any interaction with other child. She has been going to nursery for a year now and talking to staff I understand even there she prefers to play alone or with adults rather than with other children. Though I know she is very fond of 2-3 children and calls them her best friends and tells me she played with them but apparently she only talks all that but doesn't really play. Otherwise at home she is extremely chatty, independent (though stubborn) and developing well for her age.
Is this normal? Will she grow out if it? What can I do to help her make friends and play independently? Please help. I am very worried when I see children younger or her age playing with each other and independently so well.
TIA

No expert here but didn't want to read and run. I would say she is only just 3, and 3 years old is when they start to play with other children, rather than alongside? So its maybe a bit early to worry? Do you think she is shy?

My DS is identical, probably the same age as he also turned 3 a few weeks ago. He doesn't like many people at all, only the people he knows very very well, and will still sometimes take a while to warm up to a grandparent he doesn't see every week.

He keeps himself to himself at nursery, and doesn't play with any friends' children, unless his older sister is there and then he's a much more confident child.

I really worry about him! He will be going to the school pre-school in September with 40 other children and I worry so much about him being unhappy there.

@starpatch I really am not able to judge if she is shy or not. Because at home and at nursery (with the staff) she is pretty outgoing and vocal. Also if we are meeting friends etc she takes almost a couple of hours to warm up but then is generally talking and chatting to people but by time she does its almost end of the party or the gathering. But again adults only. Interaction with other children is a whole different story. So I am not sure.

@ihavechangedmyname54321 I totally feel you! Mine is our first child and we dont have any immediate family in the country. We have not seen our friends very often due to covid. But we do live in a community with people we see in the common areas quite often. Some children from our neighborhood go to same nursery as her but she still does not interact even with them. I am just hoping she will grow out of it. Hope yours does too!

My DD was a bit like yours and was confident with adults at 3. She isn't the most outgoing child now but has a few close friends at school.

My DS doesn't even like other adults really. He's sort of ok with the keyworkers at nursery, but he definitely isn't confident and hates when new adults speak to him.

My four year old daughter is very similar. It has been suggested by a professional that she may be mildly on the autistic spectrum. Autism can present extremely differently in girls than boys and the usual culprits of behaviour will not necessarily be at play. She is extremely chatty at home also - very affectionate and emphatic, but is somewhat of a loner, prefers the company of boys and is clearly anxious in social situations. She is also very stubborn and controlling at home. However, 3-4 years old is very little and they are all still developing. Something to bear in mind if you’d like to do more reading.

When I drop/pick up dd from nursery who is also almost 3, I never see any kids play together. They always play alongside each other and there are older kids in her class which at this age even a month makes a difference in terms of development. I frequently get sent pictures and videos from the nursery teachers where the teachers all do activities and do group activities but I noticed hardly any of the kids there play together. I'm no expert but my dd would does engage with kids but easily gets distracted by a toy or something else and moves on. Equally there are much quieter kids who will look away when I say good morning when I drop off dd but there is also another girl who seems to be months older than dd who would randomly come up to me and say this bag belongs to so and so and runs off. Again I'm not expert but I just wanted to put my observation across as well.

@Didimum thank you for your thoughts. Will look it up and do some reading of my own.

@rainbowsandclouds you might be right. Maybe I am overthinking it and she is just one of those children who takes time. Probably bit early to worry! Thank you - put my mind to rest ever so slightly.

@RishMum
Hi, I am curious how is your daughter doing now? I am in a similar situation with my daughter :)

@Mamito she is a completely different person now. Very confident and totally is able to enjoy all the socialising. In a new place or with new place still sometime takes 10-15 mins to warm up but otherwise she is now her original outgoing chatty self. So don't worry its definitely an age thing and they change pretty quickly!

@RishMum Thank you for your reply :)