Struggling with my 3 year old and at my wits end - is his behaviour normal and how do I keep going? :(

[BreakingMum2021]

Hi Mums

I'm really struggling with my 3 year old, and I don't know if his behaviour is typical of a normal toddler or if there's more to it...

Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, is a battle & turns into a tantrum - getting in and out of the bath, nappy changes, getting dressed, choosing something to eat, getting in and out of the car, deciding what toy to play with or what to watch on TV.

He is CONSTANTLY making noise/talking/shouting/saying 'mummy' and will not stop no matter how many times we ask. I have to ask him to stop shouting and being loud whilst I'm driving so I can concentrate. He's even worse when one of us is on the phone.

He won't sit still for more than 5 minutes, and his concentration is non-existent. Toys, books, TV, nothing keeps him still, occupied or interested. He enjoys being outside so we utilise that where we can, but it's not always possible.

I know this sounds terrible and I love him to pieces, but I'm really struggling to like him at the moment. This has been going on for months and I've been trying to keep my patience but it's really wearing thin :(

Is this normal? How do I keep going? Does anyone have any tips?

I should add, his sleeping is awful at the moment too. Waking anywhere between 4-6 times a night, but there's no obvious reason. We've tried nightlights, teddies, cuddles, talking about what the problem is but nothing is helping him.

Sounds like normal toddler behavior to me...They can be right little monsters when they want to. Mine embarrasses me the most when we go out, at home, he's alright and plays and watch stuff on his ipad but like you said its a tantrum for everything! getting dressed, not having the right colour spoon to eat with, not allowing him to help you with the cooking, cleaning or opening doors etc...ughh it goes on and on...

How is he socially? Does he play with other children? Does he give you eye contact? Has his sleep always been poor? I think with any 2/3 year old they have lots of tantrums, my 2 year old does, but not that frequently. It would usually start to lessen when they are 3. Is he like that with other people? X

Do you have early intervention/gateway services near you? Maybe they could offer some support. I know local to me we have the service and you have an in-depth conversation with them (takes approx an hour) and they can advise what services they think would suit you - I know one service they have (although there is a waiting list) is where a psychologist can come to your home once a week for twelve weeks to observe your child to see if they have - ADHD/Autism/Sensory issues/Behavioural issues etc and advise what you can to prevent tantrums/meltdowns etc. They can also provide a report after the twelve weeks, which you can take to the GP/school if you need a referral to Neuro. This is just one option and maybe worth looking into.