Head Banging

[kaz70]

My 26th month old has been banging his head in his cot to get himself to sleep since 1 year of age, Gp said this was a comfort thing, not to worry and just ignore it. For the past few months it's been getting a lot worse, as he is now in a bed he get's out of bed and bangs his head on the floor doors walls anything that makes a noise, for some reason he has also started to wake a few times in the night, this leads to the head banging, which is so loud, he does this until we go into his room, he'll then stop banging and lie down, the moment we go out of his room he starts banging again, this can go on for a few hours until he falls asleep through exhaustion. We have tried ignoring it for an hour, but we gave up before he did! (He is tired when he wakes in the night) The banging has been more frequent during the day too, but we can cope with this as it's easy to distract him with toys etc. We're desperate for any advice as the sleepless noisy night are torture.

I don't have any experience of this with my children but apparently I was a head banger as a child. I would rock on my knees with a my hands on the pillow and bang my head on the pillow. I can vaguely remember doing it and feeling that it helped me sleep. Even it I was really tired I would keep going until I dropped asleep. Eventually I grew out of it and no long terms effects. I don't know if this is the same as your son but hope it helps.

Hello Kaz70. I am sorry to hear about your ds head banging trouble. Our ds also did this and not sure if theres much advice I have but I wanted to offer you my sympathy and say you are not alone with this one!
Our Ds started at apx age 14 months, we believed it was in a big part due to frustration as he is a bright little boy but couldnt express himself with words so became angry often. He also did it during the night and we padded his cot, floor and anything hard with old blankets and sheets and cushions all over the place! We had a beanbag and when he started we used to scoop him up and reassure him he could come off it as soon as he stopped banging, then we would gently plop him onto said beanbag and let him merrily continue! This definitely worked, eventually he learnt to throw himself onto the beanbag when he felt the urge to 'drop and bang' as we used to lovingly call it!
Also, does you ds have any ear trouble? We discovered when our ds was two that he had very severe glue ear and the dr suggested this could be one of the reasons for his banging, as it can temporarily relieve the pain in the ears.
Once the ears recovered the banging stopped. Lastly, I remember seeing on one of the 'tame your toddler' type british tv progs that there is now a padded helmet thing available from some gps i believe, for kids who bang alot.
Our ds is now five and 1/2. He hasnt suffered any long term effects at all from the banging and the bruises on his forehead are just a memory.

Thank you for your support, it helps to know were not the only ones going through this. We have padded out his room with quilts and pillows too, i will try the bean bag though. I think he finds the noise a comfort too. Did you try ignoring your son or walking into another room when he 'drop and banged'? (we call it woodpecking!)or telling him it's naughty? any positive results if so?
Thanks

Hello! im new to the site, i joined for a different reason, but being a nanny i thought i could come and help out a little bit!
Rule no. 1 be real patient, ur child has everything on his side to make you crack! he has your unconditional love, all the time in the world, all the resources and reserves he needs, he doesnt have to give up unless he meets his match! so be patient, he has been doing this for a long time and he wont change overnight as it has given him the results he need:your attention!
Padding is a good option, what do you do when he does this during the day? i agree, have a thinking step/mat/chair/bean bag; i dont call it naughty, just because i feel it gives it a negative connotation, when what you really want to do is getting him to think and realise what he did/does is wrong, but he is your child is up to you! If he does do the banging during the day, remove him from wherever he was with minimum chat, take him to the designated place, see him into the eye and talk in a loud deep voice without getting angry (thats the key) say something like "no, you do not head bang/hit/etc...in...it it not nice/unkind/not good and leave him for a minute or so, dont engage, if he moves sit him back down, he has to work out that what he did will get you cross and will not get you attention thus being quick and strong when doing it. Does he do it in the night? Ge to the cot sit him up look into his eye say it clear go back to your room, but you must be quick if he starts doing it again. Give him lots of positive praise during the day so he doesnt feel the need to get your attention by banging his head, praise him for eating beautifully! for saying thank you or please! Hope it helps!

My DS1 was a head banger. He has always been an extremely active child, even from in the womb! Crawled at 5 months, just never ever still. He started headbanging to get himself to sleep at about 10 months, and we moved him into a soft sided travel cot shortly afterwards, because the man in the downstairs flat complained about the noise. He was very happy in the travel cot, and the headbanging progressed to sitting up and rocking backwards against the side to go to sleep. He actually stayed in the travel cot until he was just over four, and the transition to bed happened quite naturally. We took advantage of him being ill one time, and thus very lethargic and put him in the bed then, and he settled in there quite quickly by then. He did used to bang his feet against the mattress to go to sleep for a while, but then it stopped shortly after that. He is now 7 and just as active, but a normal, bright child who doesn't headbang or rock anymore. I did a bit of research at the time, and apparently, it's reasonably common amongst very active children, as a physical way for them to unwind and relax. Try not to worry, I used to be very concerned about it, but with hindsight, it all worked out in the end!

hi Kaz70. I love 'woodpecking' as a name, by the way! so sweet. well, as i was so freaked out by the whole thing it took me ages to feel able to plop ds onto bag then walk into other room, but as soon as I started doing that it became easier. Im sure he could sense my distress and that seemed to give him the encouragement to do it all the more! once our dd came along, and she got to about 18 months and started banging one day, I raced and got the beanbag, plopped her on it, told her 'if you want to bang do it on there darling' and left room! She never did it again!! so i deduced from this, that my big reactions were worsening the whole thing with my ds and because my dd saw she wouldnt get any attention when she did it, she never bothered again. So i guess in the case of my kids some of it was for attention.
The other thing that got me through it was a wise older mum at my local church who ran our creche. She told me that in her many years of childcare, all those who were little headbangers (woodpeckers ) had grown to be those with the brighter, bubblier and more intelligent characters! Of course I know she had only annecdotal evidence but that thought got me through many a night so I pass it happily onto you!!

There was another thread about this recently.
You are definitely not alone!

Thank you all for you advice, i'v got a beanbag now so will see how that goes. We also had him sleeping in the travel cot but he has worked out how to climb out so is now in his bed. He is also a very active child, on the go constantly and seems to be very bright. Yes he does wake and bang in the night too, which leads to a couple of hours of us trying to settle him, we usually leave him for a while before going to him, but will try the method of going to him quickly and see if that has any positive results. We do give him constant attention during the day, as he is quite clingy and won't play by himself. Thanks

Good luck Kaz, hope whatever method you feel comfortable using works really quickly for you all. . Its easily said, I know, but dont let it wear you down, it really will stop x