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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

21 month old won't go to bed...help!

10 replies

roseability · 05/01/2008 19:43

Hi there

My 21 month old has started refusing to go to bed! He normally goes down about 7.30pm after his bath/story without a peep. He did have a couple of later nights over the xmas holiday (we were a bit more relaxed/less strict about routine), could that be it? The last couple of nights it has taken him about 1-2 hours to go down. He seems really upset and I have had to go into him several times to settle him. Also a few days ago we went for a walk with some friends and my husband misjudged the length of the route . It got dark and cold suddenly and my son's nappy had leaked so he was wet. He got a bit chilly but we managed to get a taxi. My son did get a bit freaked out, could it be this has unsettled him? Is he old enough to have such memories. we are normally very responsible parents btw, just a silly mistake we won't make again!

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Gursky · 05/01/2008 20:58

Sympathy with your situation - DS (2.5yo) is being ahem 'challenging' at bedtime.

I suspect it is more likely to be the relaxation in routine over Xmas, but as you can tell from the first bit of my post, I am no expert!

Don't beat yourself up about the long walk etc - he was always in a secure situation - you were always with him, and there doesn't seem to be a link to bedtime that would make memories of it recur.

yellowpoo · 10/01/2008 20:46

We have the same problem DS 19months and great sleeper until he was ill the week before christmas. We also relaxed routines over the holiday, later bedtimes, lots of family around, sleeping in late, breakfast lastm etc. DS no longer wants to go to bed, have been consistent by going up minima conversation, lat=ying him down, night night bedtime now, walking out, and repaeting until he sleeps. This has been going on for a week and a half - tonight it took 15 minutes (last week it took 1.5hrs), i think it is working - 7.30pm ,story, milk and bedtime from now on!

DavidTennantsMistress · 10/01/2008 20:52

well mines still upstairs screaming - and i'm ignoring him now.

you have my sympathies, last time DS was like this it was for 2 hours every night for 2 months - shan't be doing that again! hoping it's just a phase last night only took half an hour (which I can live with)

so prob a mix of age, xmas, and being a bit unsettled I think - just a case of sticking firm (at least that's what i'm trying)

mijudi · 10/01/2008 21:00

So glad it's not just me suffering with sleep problems! DD is 2 and due to a number of upheavals in her routine in November!! she hasnt slept through the night and keeps coming into my room at night and now wont go to bed either.
Ive just spent the last hour going back up the stairs to a little screaming person and pulkling my hair out now..

mijudi · 10/01/2008 21:00

Ubergeekian · 11/01/2008 23:24

These things seem to go in phases. His Nibs (20m) used to sleep pretty reliably from 7pm till 6am or so, but has recently switched to 9.30pm to 8.30am. We're not bothered about this, since he's still getting the hours, and he seems perfectly chirpy during the day. All it really means is that we've lost our evenings but gained our mornings.

I work mainly from home, though, and I can see it might be more of a pain if it interrupted other commitments.

mehdismummy · 11/01/2008 23:35

my ds too. He is two next month and hates going to bed. Usually wakes up during night too. I co sleep and still bf slightly so sort of my fault. Poor old dh works during day until five or six so both him and ds get excited around this time! The day he sleeps on his own all night without me having to sit there for hour will be the day he goes off to uni no you will hear fireworks going off!

emmaagain · 12/01/2008 10:54

Maybe the child isn't yet tired when you are putting them to bed - children do gradually need less sleep as they grow.

I'd follow the cues of the child

Dynamicnanny · 12/01/2008 13:44

My advice put him to bed as usual and leave him - he'll soon fall asleep - it only takes 1 thing to break a routine but it takes much longer to get the routine back.

Frizbe · 12/01/2008 13:49

It's defo an age thing dd2 is 22mths and being a right pita, I'm doing the put in bed, turn back staying in the room thing at the mo, she gets out, put her back in, without eye contact, slowly work way towards door/landing, eventually downstairs. I remember doing this with dd1 too, but she was easier to break! (or dd2 just seems to be taking longer but itsn't, it'll be my memories fading!) hth's. Oh also she's getting out of bed in the night and sneaking in with us, so we have to do the same thing again there, sigh.

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