Two year old won't stay in new bed!!

[EJW]

Hi

I am due to have baby no.3 in April and we thought that the Christmas holidays would be a good time to move dd into a room with ds as they will have to share when the new baby arrives.

I thought doing it now would be good as the gap is sufficient for her to not think we are giving her room and bed away to the new baby. However despite the excitement of the new bed she kept getting out of it on the firt night we tried! (ds went straight from cot to bed no probs so may be we have been spoilt!)

As they are sharing a room her getting out of the bed disturbs my ds and even though we tried to stagger the bedtimes she kept it up for too long and we ended up giving up and putting her back in her cot in her old room to which she loudly objected for about an hour befpre falling asleep.

We have now moved her cot into the room she is sharing with ds and give her the option of bed or cot she always chooses bed but then wants to get out!

I have read some threads that recommend a stairgate across the door but how long before my ds goes to bed do we start the process as she is no quitter!!

could you put the cot side down low, so that she can get out herself without disturbing anyone?

dd1 reacted in a similar way when we got her a proper bed aged 4. she was on a futon before that. we had to have both beds in the room for a week, till she got used to the idea!

This might sound too strong, but you're allowing her to do this, by giving in and by giving her a choice.

Take the cot to pieces, tell her it's gone, so there is no way she can sleep in it.

Does she have a bed that she has chosen, ie duvet sets, a special new bed toy to cuddle, etc? She is more likely to be happy at getting into it that way.

Tire her out before she goes to bed, a long walk outside or swimming are good ways to do it, lay her in bed, read her a story and then go.

Lastly is there a reason she and DS are going to have to share rather than you and baby and then baby and one of them?

My two are in their own rooms right now, and I am having baby no3 in April too, but it will be in with me for 6 months, then sharing with one of the DC's after that, I won't be making DS and DD share, maybe you could look at that instead?

Oh, and wrt the stairgate, I wouldn't bother unless it becomes a real big problem, simply returning her with no talking should be enough.
Every time she gets out of bed, put her back, tell her it's bedtime and leave her, it might take a hundred times some nights, but eventually she'll be used to it, a stairgate is just likely to make her scream and cry at the door.

ooh VS, i think that is a bit strong. i think taht a time of transition is helpful here.

without meaning to sound judgemental, maybe it was too much change all at once. maybe she could have changed room, but stayed in her cot? i also made this mistake when dd2 wanted to share with her sis. i took her out of the cot at the same time. it was too much for her.

it took a week or so for her to settle.

dd1 is nearly 6 and still ahtes change at bedtime. dont be too harsh.

We put ds into a bed when he was 2.4 and the first month was fine (I don't think he had twigged that he could get out). Then he started getting out and the fun and games started. We already had a stairgate on his door in case he accidently went wandering in the middle of the night. We tried various interpretations of rapid return but he just thought it was a game and it would take 1-1.5 hours every night.

What worked in the end for us was making sure he went to bed with a couple of toys (whatever he happened to have been into that day). The first night we said 'if you get out of bed we will taken toy1 away'. So when he got out of bed we took it away. We then said 'if you get out of bed we will take toy2 away, if you are still in bed when we check back in a few minutes you can have toy1 back'. So when he got out of bed we took toy 2 away. We then told him 'if you are still in bed when we check back in a few minutes you can have toy1 back'. Although he wailed quite loudly he did then stay in bed and got his toy back. The 2nd night we only had to take toy 1 away before then returning it when he stayed in bed. Since then we have rarely had to take a toy away.

Hi

Thanks for all suggestions.

We are now starting to think it might be the quilt she is not sure about.

She did get very involved in the choosing of the bed and new covers etc and was very excited but when it came to it she wasn't keen. She moans every night now when we put her in the cot and says she wants teh bed but when we try her she just wants to get out.

When we went on holiday she did sleep in a bed in the caravan we stayed in but with a bed guard and her sleeping bag, so we are now thinking that we should dismantle the cot, move the quilt and put her in the bed with the sleeping bag.

I think I'm a bit of a mixture of tough love and transition as it probably is a big thing moving rooms and chnaging what you sleep in however she is very strong headed and will puch us to get away with things.

In terms of the new baby I am afraid I don't keep the new baby in with us for very long I think we lasted 4 weeks with our dd so I do want ds and dd to share and they do get on very well with one another.

I think I'm to leave her in the cot until the weekend as ds is back at school now and I don't really want his bedtimes interrupted on his first week back so come Friday I am going to try with the bed!!

If anyone has anymore suggestions I would welcome all comments.

Love this site it really is great that you can share a problem!

Does she have a security blanket or anything that she sleeps with? We had this issue with DS when we swapped him over to a bed but he sleeps with a Taggie. I bought a toy tie and tied it onto his bed, at the far side, (very short though so there is no spare dangerous tie) so that if he did get out, he would have to return to his bed for his blanket. It did work, and I don't have to tie it any more.

We are having similar problems with ds (also moved into a bed over christmas) we have resorted to the stairgate across the door, because even once he is asleep if he wakes during the night he is going wandering around the house, gets into bed with dd next door, tries to fish the goldfish out their tank etc etc. I like the idea about the 2 toys, will try that tonight.