Clingy baby...How will I ever go back to work?

[Sleepymama285]

My daughter is 9 months old and has always been pretty intense. She's been EBF (just now starting transition onto formula), is a nightmare napper (currently driving her around in the car every day as it's the only way to get a decent length nap) and is quite clingy. I'm a FTM so have no reference point but I'm starting to worry about how on earth she is going to go to nursery and how I am going to go back to work in 3 months time. She is only used to being held by me/DH as we have no family locally that can help out and at the minute I can barely leave the room to go to the loo without her getting upset. She'll only really play with toys for a couple of minutes and I feel like I'm constantly trying to entertain her to keep her happy. Combined with her nap refusal, I'm just worrying about how she will cope at nursery. Has anyone been through similar or have any words of wisdom? TIA

DD1 is intensely mummy's girl, has been pretty well since birth, and started nursery as we emerged from the first lockdown – I had a lot of the same worries and in fact wondered if I'd wind up needing to take unpaid leave or similar if she really didn't settle. In the end, she was sort of middling when it came to settling, not the easiest they've ever had, but not the hardest either.

Things that we did that may have helped: We spent time hanging out at a busy play park (with DD mostly in the safe space of her buggy at first) to get used to other children. Some neighbours kindly took her for a few walks to get her a little bit used to being with other people (again starting from the safe space of her buggy...). For us, naps becoming (more) rubbish was generally a sign DD's sleep needs were changing. Does your DD need to drop a nap? Shorten a nap? Look at her sleep cues; if they don't match what the books/websites say, go with her.

Also remember that 3 months is a huge amount of time in the life of a baby, so lots will change in that time. A good nursery will also work with you on all of this – ours spent the first few weeks carefully keeping DD in quieter areas so she didn't get overwhelmed by too many children too close to her.

Hey, thanks so much for the reply and the reassurance. Great thinking on asking neighbours to take LO for a walk and spending time in busier play areas.

To be honest I feel really lost with her naps! I've obsessed over them for months, trying to look at her cues/trying longer/shorter wake windows etc, but mainly to no avail. She has never had a nap in her cot and will only nap when in constant motion. We did some sleep training for nights so am thinking about trying this again for naps but when we had a go previously it was an epic fail!

I'm sure we'll get there though and maybe the nursery will work some nap magic!

If anyone has any other advice or suggestions they'd be gratefully received

Hi OP,

In the same situation as you! My daughter is EBF and sooo clingy. Clinging on to me currently actually 😂

How did your DD take to nursery?

Hi @Honeybae Hopefully I can give you a bit of hope that things will work out ok! My daughter has been at nursery since June and she loves it! I did stop BFing about a month before she went (just because the time was right for me) so that may have been a factor, but she's really surprised us with how she's settled in. We had tears at drop off for a few weeks, but now she loves and gets all excited waving her arms about when we arrive at the gate! She has a little bunny she takes with her which I think has been a nice source of comfort while she's away from us. Hope that helps

Thank you for replying @Namechange285! that’s great to hear. I’m trying to introduce a comfort bunny too. I really hope she takes to it as well as your DD has!