My 9 year old boy has no friends

[MummyToni27]

So it's a bit of a long story but i will start from the beginning as i think it has all stemmed from there.
My lovely boy started school with a speech delay and didn't fully start talking until he was half way through reception. I believe this had a knock on affect with his learning i.e. reading and writing but he has come on so well academically since however he is still only just achieving where he should be. We pay for a private tutor once a week which i think has brought him on heaps and bounds and increased his confidence also.
The problem is that he is slightly immature for his age and i think because of this he has had trouble making friends.
I see him constantly being rejected by boys. My husband took him to football training where no one wanted to team up with him. It absolutely breaks my heart. Last year I witnessed him being pushed around in the play ground by some of the boys and he was literally just pottering around on his own. But because of him immaturity I don't think he even saw this as a problem and he would just put it down to "they were just playing"
He plays fortnite but is always kicked out of the groups and is sometimes brought to tears.
My heart aches for him and i get so cross as i feel so utterly helpless. He is such a sweet affectionate boy and is always complimented on how wonderfully polite he is. Can anyone relate or give advise on how i can help him? Thanks c

I think you just need to keep trying and allow his to have different experiences until he finds his tribe. Football can be brutal, have you thought about cubs or similar? They may have a more inclusive attitude. Have you spoken to his teacher? What do they say? Is he Y4 or Y5? High school and q wider network is not that far away. Also you can try inviting class mates home 1:1 to build relationships

When you say "immature" what do you actually mean?
If he's constantly silly & annoying then he will find it difficult to make friends. Can you have a chat with him about social behaviours?

He could play with the girls? DS1 had more female than male friends at primary. Probably still does!

How big is his school ? If it's too small, there might not be enough of a pool of potential friends.

As the first reply said, football is brutal. Ime the most competitive boys tend to be the ones playing at playtime and there's always one who goes too far and acts like it's the World Cup final. My sons have reported other boys being devastated when the boy who thinks he's Ronaldo mouths off. I think it's important to know some football talk if the topic comes up but not necessary to actually play.

My sons were sometimes invited to play footie but they preferred chasing games like Tag tbh. You don't need an even number like with football and more people make it more fun.

Does your school do any organised playground games. The schools my kids went to had an adult who would organize games like What's The Time Mr Wolf? and people of all ages were encouraged to join if they wanted. I would ask the school about nurture groups that they might have.

Has he been assessed for autism? It would fit with the friends issues and speech delay, and give you and him some way of understanding why he finds it hard to make friends, as well as helping him find an identity and tribe for the future. A social skills group at school or elsewhere could help him develop social tools to use. Can he join a club or activity that's he's good at / has boys or girls there similar to him? Building friendships around his skills and interests will build his confidence too. Talk to school about them tackling any bullying.